Protecting and Healing You

Chapter 15.

"Okay so what?" Amelia rubs her eyes as I tell her this information. The two of us had different schedules for the past couple days so she wasn't in the mix with the recent events.

"He's adopting her"I tell her.

"Wow" She sighs.

"I know" I nod.

"So is she settling in with him?" Amelia asks.

"I would think so" Amelia slowly nods as we both sip our coffees.

"Have you talked to him about your nightmares? Because I heard you last night"

"What?"

"You were screaming"I sigh.

"You have to tell him Julie, it's a weight on your shoulders that isn't your fault"

"I don't know if you haven't realized but my job is to save people's lives, I had the opportunity to do that and he died right in front of me, I have his blood on my hands stained forever"

"His death was not your fault" She assures me.

"It's a factor"

"Leo loves you from the deepest of waters to the highest star in our universe if that's even possible. He will never blame you"She says.

"I'm just scared"

"And it's okay to be scared but not for long, he will understand" I nod agreeing that she was right. "Have you taken Erica and Camille's advice on seeing a therapist"

"No I haven't"

"Maybe you should consider that" She says. I nod.

"I've gotta get going, I'm meeting Leo and Nellie for lunch"I tell her and she nods.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Leo had explained the closing of the orphanage and the resettling of the other girls into other orphanages, it was best that I tell him my struggles lately.

"Leo"He hums as he looks away from Nellie doing a maze on the kiddie menu. "I need to tell you something"he finally looks at me.

"Okay? Is everything okay?" He asks quickly concerned.

"Yea but uh remember how I was there when your dad died, during the bank robbery?" He nods.

"He blocked you way"He nods again.

"And immediately when he went down I went into full nurse mode"

"What are you getting at baby?" He asks me.

I sigh "I've been having nightmares about your dad you know"I say eyeing Nellie quickly "and I just"

"Julie, babe. It's not your fault" He assures.

"I know but I have blood on my hands and I just can't seem to shake it off"He quickly reached over and grabs my hands in his.

"I don't blame you for his death and you certainly should not blame yourself. He choose to protect you and you choose to treat him immediately, neither of you two choose his death, okay?" I nod and he kisses my hands.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was late into the night, way passed dinner and now Nellie was fast asleep in her new room. Leo said the adaptation papers would take awhile but as of right now the social worker granted him custody to keep her for now. I walk down the hall, passed both boys bedrooms where Finley laid asleep as well to head to where Leo was standing in the threshold of Nellie's room. 

I wrap my arms around Leo before he does the same and kisses my head "you okay?" I ask him as I look over at Nellie. My boyfriend lets out a long sigh and I rub his back.