Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!
Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine! Q
: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
Q: What do you call a baby monkey? A: A Chimp off the old block.
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock? A: It went back four seconds.
Q: What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? A: An ambulance.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.
Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? A: Idaho... Alaska!
Q: Did you hear about that new broom? A: It's sweeping the nation!
Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? A: An irrelephant.
Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits!
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
Q: Why did the belt get arrested? A: He held up a pair of pants.
Q: What do you call a fat psychic? A: A four chin teller.
Q: What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A: A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!
Q: What do you call a computer that sings? A: A-Dell
Q: Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? A: It's dread-full.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
Q: What is heavy forward but not backward? A: Ton.
Q: What do you call a gangsta snowman? A: Froze-T
Q: What did the femur say to the patella? A: I kneed you.
Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed.
Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A: a yardvark!
Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? A: Swimming trunks.
Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom? A: At the BP station!
Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away? A: A taxi driver.
Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? A: LMAYO
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A: a thesaurus.
Q: "How do you shoot a killer bee?" A: "With a bee bee gun."
Q: How do you drown a Hipster? A: In the mainstream.
Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? A: Clean Jokes!
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: "Where's Popcorn?"
Q: What do you call sad coffee?" A: Despresso.
Q: How do you make holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it!
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? A: It barked with de-light!
Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A: A stamp.
Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? A: Nobody nose.
Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? A: Because it had a virus!
Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them
Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh? A: With ten-tickles
Q: Why are pirates called pirates? A: Cause they arrrrr.
Q: What's the first bet that most people make in their lives? A: the alpha bet
Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!
Q: How do you organize a space party? A: You planet!
Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner? A: Man, that hit the "spot."
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer!
Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
Q: What do you call having your grandma on speed dial? A: Instagram.
Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor? A: Because it was not peeling well
Q: Why is England the wettest country? A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Q: What belongs to you but others use more? A: Your name
Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A: He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite.
Q: What is the best day to go to the beach? A: Sunday, of course!
Q: Which is the building is the largest? A: The library because it has the most stories.
Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog? A: Toad.
Q: What bow can't be tied? A: A rainbow!
Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A: A Yamahahaha
Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A: Spring time.
YOU ARE READING
Book of Weirdness
HumorDO you know what makes this joke book different from ALL the other joke books on this website? NOTHING So if you don't find my jokes funny, after the first 50, other joke books shall greet you. *I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE JOKES*
