My Book of Insanity

OUAT!!!

Me: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, OH MY GOSH!!! *dances like Gollum with "precious" except with TV remote*

Leroy: *raises eyebrow Elrond style* "Sup with her?"

Snow White: "Oh, you know. The usual."

Regina: *sarcastic sneer* "Obsessing over us again, is she?"

Me: *stops dancing to glare at Regina* "Not obsessing. Passionate. Always passionate." *continues dancing like an idiot*

Emma: *falls out of purple portal onto floor* "What'd I miss?" *sees me* "Okaaay... not much then huh?"

Everyone but Me: *nods and rolls eyes*

Me: "Hey! It's your own fault if you can't be awesome like me!" *begins to strike a pose and "swagger," but ends up looking like a goose with mental issues*

Mr. Gold: "I'm just... gonna go... yeah..." *backs toward door with Belle in tow*

Me: *rolls eyes* "Whatever. Haters gonna hate." *dances again, chanting "Haters gonna haaaate!" *

Everyone but Me: *widens eyes*

Elsa: *holds out hands and freezes me in an idiotic position*

Me: *left arm stuck out behind me, right arm poised above my head, holding the remote, my back arched WAAAY TOO FAR BACK, my eyes open REALLY wide, my mouth open, frozen while singing the vowel "A" and my legs spread way too far apart in a rock position *

Everyone: *heaves huge sigh of relief*

Me: *breaks free and shakes ice chips off my body* "Who did that?"

Everyone: *steps back*

Me: *glares*

Elsa: *squeals and runs away*

Everyone: *follows Elsa, slamming door behind them*

Me: *settles down on couch* "Ahh. Now I can watch the two hour episode alone." *looks at Bob the Banana, (a banana on whom I drew a Sharpie marker face)* "Awful lot of work to accomplish that though, eh Bob?"

Bob the Banana: ...

*crickets*

Me: "Okay then. Lets get this party started!" *clicks button on TV remote. Nothing happens.* "NOOOOOOO!!!"

*birds all over the world scatter*

Bob the Banana: ...

Me: "Why me? Why ME?" *bangs fist on floor and sobs*

Bob the Banana: O_o!