I need you -Daryl Dixon-

19- The best I can do

"What the hell was that for?" Daryl shouted at me cradling his jaw. One small trickle of blood slid from the corner of his mouth. He swiped at it angrily with the back of his hand glancing down at his red covered knuckles. He looked back up at me snarling.

"You're an asshole!" I shouted matching his tone. "How could you do this to me? You promised me! You said you needed me! You said it would be different this time! YOU LIED!" I was screaming furiously.

He looked at me guilty and ashamed before he hung his head with his eyes meeting the ground.

"I can't believe I trusted you! Everything you said was bullshit, Daryl!" I let my temper flare as I screamed in his face. "I'm so fucking stupid for believing you!"

He glanced up at me slowly taking a step forward and reaching out to me. I pushed against his chest harshly causing him to stumble back a few feet.

"Don't! You don't get to touch me."

He nodded slowly hanging his eyes low once more. I took a deep breath to compose myself. I didn't come out here to scream at him. I came out here to set the record straight. I felt bad for hitting him, I just wanted him to feel a split second of the pain I was feeling, but my pain was amplified now.

"We have to live together in this camp but that's all this is." I said gesturing between us with my hand. "We're just two survivors sticking together to get by. That's it." Crossed my arms like it could relieve the empty ache in my chest.

He stared at me with the same look he had given me that night so long ago when I was assaulted. Like he would do anything to take the pain away, even if it meant hurting hisself.

"You can't fix this, Daryl." I trained my eyes downward trying to hold back the tears threatening the backs of my eye balls.

I could feel the anguish tumbling off of him from 3 feet away. I quickly turned so that I didn't have to see it in his eyes. I knew it would break me.

I walked back towards camp with my arms crossed digging my long dirty fingernails into my biceps. The physical pain grounded me momentarily, giving me just an ounce of relief from the emotional turmoil swirling inside of me.

I decided I needed to keep up my workout routine even though I was injured. I need to be prepared, but I didn't want to go into the woods alone and risk another group of walkers.

I headed into the barn, it seemed like the best place to be alone and clear my head. I looked around the barn, the loft seemed like the best place so I pushed myself towards the ladder dragging myself up it slowly.

I looked up grabbing a low hanging beam and hoisted myself up until my chin rested on the wood. I couldn't cross my legs because of the boot and it made it harder on my shoulders but I kept pushing.

"1......2......3.....4.....5.....6.....7.....8.....9......10.....11......12.....13.....14.....15.....16.....17......18......19.....20...." I grunted out loud. I hung from the rapper swinging back and forth slowly trying to steady my breathing.

"21.....22.....23.....24.....25.....26.....27.....28.....29.......30" I strained my abs clenching my hips together to try to get just a few more out.

"31.....32.....33.....34.....35.....36" I dropped to the floor, my arms were on fire. It took a few seconds of deep breathing to catch my breath before I started doing sit ups.

I was able to work in 45 sit ups until the burning in my stomach was too much to bare.

I laid still against the wooden floor absentmindedly letting my finger tips skim along it beside me. I took some deep breaths as my eyes danced along the old wooden beams. The setting sun was beaming through the cracks in the wood.