Chapter eighteen: Get-out-of-Hell free card

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Jeremiah was quite frankly feeling incredibly guilty. All the talk about punishing Heaven didn't sit well with him. He knew that it, technically, was God's fault for starting this whole mess... But it was God; didn't he get some sort of I-made-Earth free card?

Currently, Jeremy was teaching Lucifer about human culture by watching TV—naturally— but he couldn't focus on the screen due to his thoughts. The discussion always went with Kevin coming to Hell and Jeremy going to Heaven, but because of the deal that wasn't possible... But why couldn't he just go home? He wasn't supposed to be dead anyway. Didn't Jeremy then deserve a get-out-of-hell free card if he didn't really belong there? But as fate would have it, things just didn't go the human's way. "Can I go home?" Jeremy asked timidly.

Lucifer looked up from the TV screen to the small human sitting besides him, "You are home."

Jeremy bit his lip in contemplation, suddenly feeling quite vulnerable. "I meant my home on Earth." He couldn't maintain the eye contact and stared at the couch's seams. Lucifer's heart skipped a beat, "We made a deal, and you're to stay in Hell with me."

"Right," he whispered dejectedly. "But if we hadn't made the deal, would you have let me?"

The devil turned around in his seat, facing the shy human full on. "Your death is irreversible. You died and Kevin killed you before he died too. He has done a lot of bad things, and even though you haven't, there's no place for the dead on Earth." Jeremy nodded and kept quiet, oblivious to the devil who was currently analysing every little feature and expression the human had. "Do you not like it here?"

Jeremy smiled slightly, "No, it's nice. I just... I just miss my family." Lucifer nodded, he could understand that. He had read that humans were very sentimental beings, and often got sad over lost ones. Lucifer had never cried over losing somebody dear to him because he made sure that no one ever got close enough to him. But here sat a little human— who seemingly was nothing more or less than average— and Lucifer wanted him to stay. He wanted the human to want to be here. Not by force or because he made a deal, but because he wanted to.

And yet, the devil was too afraid of the answer to ever ask.

Chills raked through the devil's body and he stood up quickly, "Something has happened." Jeremy snapped out of his thoughts and stood up too. "Wait here," the devil ordered. "No! I'm coming with you." Lucifer stopped in contemplation for a second before he reluctantly muttered, "Fine, but don't do anything stupid."

The human nodded enthusiastically, happy to get away from the thoughts of home. "What's going on?" He asked as the two of them rushed down the hallways of Lucifer's mansion. "I feel... icky, so probably something to do with Heaven or angels." He didn't spare the boy a glance when they finally reached his entrance doors where the feeling was the most prominent. The double doors slammed open before Lucifer could reach for the doorknob, and one of his guards stepped out in high alert. When he nearly slammed directly into Lucifer, he quickly took a step back and a deep breath to compose himself, "Sir, I was just on my way to get you."

Lucifer didn't waste a moment more before he entered the room. Jeremy shot the guard a nice smile— one of which Lucifer had, unsurprisingly, failed to give— and quickly followed him. The first thing Jeremy noticed was a group of angels standing by the entrance doors, looking both pissed off and scared, and secondly, he noticed that Lucifer was sporting a big satisfied smirk, "What brings you to Hell, brother?"

Amenadiel took a confident step forward, causing his greying hair to contrast against his dark skin in the light, and therefore showing off his stress. "We're all well aware of that fact that Hell and Earth has suffered with earthquakes and rain, but, Lucifer, this is much worse. The Garden of Eden has a dark set of clouds looming above it; No sunlight can penetrate it!" Amenadiel's distress was evident in his voice, and it took everything in Lucifer to act concerned and not gleeful. "Oh, really?"

He nodded his head firmly, looking sullen when he said his next words, "The Garden of Eden is dead."

Wow, Mother Nature must've been really pissed off for her to ruin the Garden of Eden, thought Lucifer, happy that the cranky woman had kept her promise.

"You must help us," continued the angel.

Lucifer's face grew stern, "No."

"But you must—"

"You denied us help when we needed it so you get nothing!" Amenadiel's mouth hung open as he tried to gather his wits. The group of angels behind him were listening intently, looking incredibly mad when help was being denied. I guess they don't get a 'no' very often, the devil smiled internally.

Amenadiel ran a hand through his greying hair and sighed in finalisation, "Father wants Jeremy, so you need to hand him over and forget about your deal." Jeremy gasped causing Lucifer to remember that the human was in the room too. "Jeremy is going nowhere and you already know this." The human bit his lip to keep quiet, was this his chance to speak up and go to Heaven as he was supposed to? Did he even want that?

"Speaking of relocating humans," the devil continued as the angels eyed him suspiciously. "I want Kevin to come back to Hell, and then all of this will stop." Lucifer expected a dramatic pause of silence but instead he was met with a dozen angels yelling at him like a bunch of five-year-olds. Words like: "You're insane", "If you don't help us, we won't help you", and "That man is impossible", flowed from their mouths while Lucifer simply smiled. "You may leave now," he dismissed them all.

"We won't leave before you give us Jeremy!" Said a random angel, but Amenadiel stepped in before Lucifer could. "Let's go."

Lucifer smiled in victory and gave a cocky look towards the angel who spoke up, "Off you go, best follow your master." He growled in annoyance but swiftly turned on his heels and stalked outside. The fellow angels eyed the scene for a moment more before they followed the other guy out.

"Well this resolved nothing," Jeremy pointed out the moment the doors closed again. Lucifer smiled again, confusing his human completely, "Remember our deal with Mother Nature? It's only a matter of time before God caves in and hands Kevin back to Hell."

Jeremy's mouth formed a silent 'o' as he nodded slightly. "Let's go finish that movie, shall we?" Lucifer suggested. He nodded in response, and the both of them walked back to Lucifer's room. The human looked at the couch and the standby screen of his TV that showed they still had an hour left of the movie. "Actually, I think I'll just go to bed." Lucifer eyed him for a moment with concealed disappointment, "Oh, alright... Goodnight, human." Jeremy smiled slightly at the nickname, "Goodnight, Luci."

The human felt exhausted with everything that had happened since he died, and closed his eyes the moment his head hit the pillow. Sleep couldn't come fast enough as he let out a content sigh, unaware that he was being watched from the darkest corners of his room.

Something hard and warm covered Jeremy's mouth and he quickly snapped his eyes open in shock, blinking a few times to gain his sleep-ridden vision back. A hand covered his mouth tightly but he couldn't make out the other person's features in the darkness when a bag suddenly got pulled over his head. He felt a cold knife go to his throat.

This is it, he thought. Again.

__

A/N:

What was that?

Did you hear it too?

The sound of an overused cliché?

yeP I really did it huh

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