seasons

part 1 1/2

Part 1 1/2

Was my mother right? Did we rush into all of this too fast? I knew I loved him, I had just never seen him so mad. How could he hurt me like this if he really loved me? I examined my face in the mirror. My eye was swollen and I'm sure it will be black by the morning. My body had taken the worst beating though. I felt that shit  to my core. It was that moment I decided I couldn't let this become a routine. Once you let them get away with it you know it's bound to happen again. ......After I got dressed, I pulled out my suitcase and started packing my stuff. There was no way in hell I could go home and tell my parents what had happened. I had pretty much cut off all my family and friends for this man. It isnt something I'm proud of, it just kind of happened. He became my everything. My whole world was consumed with jamaal.....I opted to get a hotel. Once I got there and looked around, I just sat on the bed and cried. Then came the back to back calls. From jamaal. Once he realized I wasnt going to answer, he started to text. " Where are you?" "Baby I'm sorry"
I threw the phone down on the bed and layed back. What had my life become? I went from one that couldn't keep his dick in his pants to one that apparently wants to beat my ass. At this point I wasn't exactly sure what my next move would be. Fortunately I have a nice little hefty trust fund my granny left for me. Something that I never disclose to anyone so only my parents and a couple close friends know about it. Taking care of myself wasnt the issue. The issue was the "I told you so" ass shit from everyone. Spare me that shit. Of course everybody would know eventually. I just needed time. Time to process the shit my dam self. My thoughts were interrupted by knocks at the door. " I dont need housekeeping " I said aloud as I opened the door......
Jamaal stood there. Crying. Looking at me like his world was over. I tried to  push the door  closed but he blocked it and pushed his way inside. "Why are you here? How did you even know I was here? " I backed away as I asked these questions but he walked towards me and dropped to his knees. " I'm sorry. Baby please forgive me." He buried his face in my pussy, squeezing my waist, "I love you, I cant stand the thought of you with another nigga man....I just want you to be mine." I could feel myself being lulled into a false sense of security with every word he uttered. "Jamaal I am- was yours, have I ever given you any reason to think otherwise?" He stood and faced me." No. You haven't. Not ever. I guess the messages just made me think the worst. I know you loved him. I dont know, I guess I thought maybe you wanted him back. I lost it baby and I'm sorry. The thought of me not having you makes me crazy." I looked down at the floor trying to avoid looking into his eyes. Eyes that genuinely seemed sorry.....eyes that were looking to see if I still cared. "Ciara I love you. I'm sorry I hurt you. Baby you gotta come home. He hugged me and gently swayed along with me for what seemed like an eternity, then his hand slowly lifted my chin up. To the point where our faces were aligned. Our eyes in sync with each other. It was that point, right then and there, he knew he had me. He knew that I wasnt going anywhere. Before I knew it he was taking my stuff back to the car and we were headed back home.
It took a couple weeks for things to get back to normal. My body still ached from the beating I took and I definitely wasn't about to let this nigga fuck me like all this shit ain't just happen. The crazy thing about it all, is that now, for what ever reason, I cant stop thinking about rico.....🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️😲😲

Stay tuned for part 2.......