seasons

part 11 1/2

Part 11 1/2

Valerie
I went home to an empty house. Derrick was gone. My sick ass father had my son. Our son, which he made a point to let me know. Once we were released from the hospital, he took jackson. Said for me to make up a story and tell Ciara, to get more money from her. He was fixated on the fact that she had more money than him and he just couldn't seem to let it go. He said once he had the money he would leave us alone. Something was telling me that he would never stop. I felt so bad doing all of this. I knew I had to tell Ciara the truth. She was the only thing I had left other than jackson. The first thing I did was get in the shower. I had to get him off of me. As the scalding hot water trickled down my body, I cried. In a matter of days my life had completely changed. I hadn't even began to process Derrick's death, or how I wouldgo on without him. The perfect life I had always dreamed of, that I finally had, gone over night. It just seemed so unreal.  Once I got out of the shower, I went and got a pen and paper. I had to find the words. I had to tell Ciara everything. She had to know that he made me do it, that he was threatening me. I would never hurt her or do anything like this to her, I just didnt know how to tell her that. It would be so much easier to write it down. Then I could leave the note for her. I began to write. Before I knew it I had written a whole page. In closing I explained to her what she meant to me. Everything she had done, how could I ever repay her? At this point I knew I couldn't go through with all the shit my father wanted me to do. Regardless, I knew I had to get my son back. Once I got dressed, I went and got derricks 9 mm. After loading it, I stopped and looked at a photo of me Derrick and Jackson. The only photo that I had actually hung on the wall.....our family portrait. I wiped my tears and went to the car. It was time for me to handle my father once and for all. He had ruined my life already and I dam sure wasn't going to let him ruin my sons life. After driving what seemed like forever, I finally arrived at home. The place I once called home. The place where it all began. Everything still looked the same. Dad still had old junked cars in the yard  the side walk was still chipping away bit by bit. The steps still all broken up, trash all over the yard. Rebel flags in all the windows, and all over the yard. A place I had always been ashamed to come from. A place I never wanted my son to see. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. The walk to the door was a quick one, and before I knew it I was standing at the door. This was it. The greatest battle that I ever had to fight. The biggest skeleton in my closet, that I always tried to hide. Today I was gonna take my life back. Take away the power he always seemed to hold over me. My intentions were to get my son, and that meant by any means necessary. I had to do whatever it took. Even if that meant ending my fathers life. I was prepared to do that if it came to it. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. Then, I reached for the door knob. God be with me.........

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