therapy session type thing

536 29 27
                                    

4:50 am

i woke up from my sleep and looked up at isaiah. he was asleep and i couldn't sleep. trying not to wake him up i got out of bed. quietly i opened the door and got out of his room. jah, ski, and rair were all sitting in the living room.

"what's wrong?" they asked me.

"nothing why?" i asked them laying down on the floor.

"you look sad" rair told me.

"nah i'm good. i just couldn't sleep" i kinda lied.

"normally you stay with isaiah until morning time. especially when you can't sleep" jah told me.

"i'm goin to my room" i stood up. 

"we're coming" rair said.

we all walked inti my room. jah closed the door as i laid on my bed. the rest of the guys sat on the bed.

"what's really wrong?" jah asked.

"his ex came back" i lowly told them.

"yazmine?" ski asked.

i nodded my head and they sighed. rair looked confused so jah filled him in on who yazmine was.

"2 weeks into us meeting he told me that if she were to ever come back he'd go back to her in a heartbeak. now she's back"

"how did he tell you?" ski asked.

"he kept beating around the bush telling me he loved me and all that. then he asked if i remembered who yazmine was and i told him yeah. that's when he said she's back" my voice cracked.

i felt so weak crying over a boy. especially one who wasn't even my boyfriend. we were never together.

"he just kept apologizing and saying sorry over and over again until we both fell asleep. i couldn't even cry, but he was. he felt bad for hurting me after promising he wouldn't"

"come here" rair pulled me closer to him.

he hugged me as i cried silently. it was silent and all you could hear were my silent cries. the guys looked at me with concerned faces as i cried.

"i'm sorry angel" jah told me. "isaiah doesn't know how to express how he truly feels to a person. he wants to be with you, trust me. you don't know how fuckin tired i am of hearing your name all the fuckin time. bruh i'll be half asleep then here he comes into my room talkin bout 'i WaNnA bE wiT aNgEl' literally every single night. man, sometimes i get annoyed just by looking at you cuz of how much he talks about you. listen. he wants to be with you but right now he's just confused. give him some time. ski and i both know by next week he ain't gonna be with her anymore. they've known each other since 3rd grade. isaiah just likes the thought of having someone there for him for so long. he don't really like her" jah said as i sighed laying back down in my bed.

"trust me he really don't like her like that. the amount of times he's talked about you is crazy. he never talks about her. out of all these years of them being on and off he has not talked about her as much as he's talked about you. man sometimes jah and i have to pretend we're sleeping so he won't talk to us about you" ski said making me laugh.

"look i don't know him as well, but just talk to him. tell him straight up what's going on in your head before he officially goes back with her. maybe you really expressing your feelings for him will make him realize he wants to be with you" rair told me.

"i just want him to be happy" i played with my fingers.

"and he isn't gonna be happy with her. every time they're together he ends up sad and suicidal. he's already overdosed once while they were together. she adds so much fuckin stress to his life" jah told me.

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