i have a surprise for you

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isaiah's pov

"fuck" i mumbled to myself as i woke up.

i got out of bed slightly pushing yazmine away from me. i felt guilty and disgusting. i walked around her room collecting all my things then walked around her whole house. after gathering everything that was mine i heard yazmine's voice.

"where are you going?" i heard her ask.

"i can't do this shit anymore yazmine" i told her.

"why?" she asked as her eyes got watery.

"we both know i don't have feelings for you" i said lowly feeling bad "we both know i was just using you as a distraction, but i just can't anymore"

"fuck you" she said as she walked towards me "i'm always there when you need something. i was there for you when you were out on the fucking streets broke. i've always been there for you like a dumbass. you always talk about how i'm the bad one in the relationship but it's you" she pushed me.

"and you know i'm right isaiah" she continued "you go out there saying how i was this and i was that, but all i ever did was try to get you to want to be with me. all those times you cheated on me and i took you back like a dumbass. those times where you would literally flirt with a girl in front of me and ignore me as if i was nothing. do you not understand how much that fucks with me? now do you understand why i am the way i am? especially that one time you brought a girl to the house and just fucked her. you knew i was home, but you didn't care. honestly fuck you isaiah" she pushed me again "i never realized how much of a fucked up person you were until now. saying all this shit outloud is making me realize how shitty you are. angel's a good person and you're just fucking her up. get your shit together if you're gonna be with her. i don't want her feeling the way i feel" she broke down crying as i felt shitty.

it hurt hearing her say all that knowing that she was right. every single word she said was right and i couldn't even lie. i never realized how i was the shitty one in our relationship. all she ever did was try to make me happy. she only ever acted the way she did because of shit i did. i was the one that made her like this.

"fuck you" she pushed me against the wall "i fucking hate you"

"yazmine" i grabbed her hands before she could start hitting me "i'm so fuckin sorry" i wrapped my arms around her.

"no" she tried pushing me off "fuck you don't touch me"

"i'm so fucking sorry i didn't see the way i treated you. i was so locked up in my own little world that i never once thought about you. all i ever did was fuck up in our relationship. i never once thought about how fucked up everything i was doing" i told her.

i didn't even know what else to say. i couldn't even say 'but i really do love you yazmine' because that would be a lie. i couldn't even say 'i never cheated or did that' because that would be a lie.

"all i ever wanted was to be with you and make you happy, isaiah" she held my hand.

i didn't even know what to do. what could i do? there was nothing i could do to make all her pain go away. i felt shitty and i couldn't even imagine how she felt.

"i'm so fuckin sorry. i know a sorry isn't gonna cut it and make all the pain go away. i feel so fucking shitty for never realizing how horrible i was treating you. i can't even imagine how you felt throughout our whole relationship. all you ever did was try to change me, but i always took it the wrong way. all you wanted was for me to be yours and yours only, but all i ever wanted was to be with everybody. you fuckin hated when i went out on tours with the guys, or had concerts, and i always thought you were just being controlling. i never knew you knew about me cheating on you. that's the fucked up part. i always came to your house and you knew i had just cheated on you and you would still be happy to be with me. you deserve better and i just can't be that for you. i just can't"

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