just friends

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"angel" i started "i'm such a fuck up. all i ever want is for you to be happy and i know you won't get that with me. i constantly fuck up every good thing in my life. it scares me how comfortable and happy i am with you. all my past things can't ever relate to how good of a relationship we had. you were my first actual relationship and i learned so much about myself. i never knew how much i actually enjoyed the comfort of someone else. for years i always thought that me being on my own was the best thing for me. that was all up until i met you and realized that that's not true. i only ever thought like that because i had no one. there was no one i could go talk to at 4 in the morning when my thoughts got the best of me. there was no one i could cry to and just let it all out. there was no one i could talk to about anything without getting judged. you're everything i've been looking for. i spent everyday of my life thinking i would never find someone that would understand me. i was convinced i was never gonna be happy, but that all changed with you. i'm the happiest and most vulnerable when i'm with you. you've seen me at my lowest points and never left.  after all the crazy and stupid shit i've done or said you never left. i want to be with you, angel" i held her hand as she put her head on my chest "i want to be with you because you make me the happiest. you help make me want to be the best person i can be" i kissed the top of her head.

all i heard was angel let out tiny sobs as she was shaking. blue was in her lap trying to calm her down too.

"isaiah" she spoke up and my heart started beating faster "i don't understand how you don't think you're good for me. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. if it weren't for you i don't know where i would be right now. who knows if i would even be alive. throughout the months of me knowing you i've been the happiest. i've never been more comfortable with someone. never did i think i would be able to be so vulnerable and comfortable with someone. i want to be here for you isaiah. i want to be the one you go to when you're at your lowest or even while you're at the happiest point in your life. i don't plan on leaving you. i know you're afraid of that, isaiah" she looked up at me "you're scared that i'm gonna leave you, but trust me i'm not. i don't plan on leaving you. i want to be with you, isaiah. i want to be with you and i don't plan on leaving"

i held her tighter as i held her hand. she was right. i was scared of me putting too much trust in her and then her leaving. it was something that always kept me up at night. i feared that if she knew too much about me she wouldn't want to be with me anymore. she would get tired of me and leave. her telling me she wants to be with me and doesn't plan on leaving made me feel better. i needed that confirmation and i didn't even know.

"come home isaiah" she whispered as she held my hand "i want all of you to come home again. i want it to be like it used to be, but with peep and tracy here too"

"okay" i told her as she looked up at me smiling.

"good because i wasn't gonna take no for an answer" she laughed.

my heart felt warm as i heard her laugh. that was something i hadn't heard in some time now.

"what would you have done if i said no?"

"i would've knocked you out and taken you home" she smiled.

"i'm glad i said okay although your plan sounds like fun"

"let's go home" she said getting excited.

*when they're finally home*

as soon as i parked in the driveway i saw peep and tracy sitting outside smoking. once they saw angel happy i saw them light out a sigh of relief. they immediately walker over to her side and opened her door.

"tell us everything" peep and tracy said as they dragged her into the house.

i shook my head laughing as i picked up blue. i went to the trunk and got out my bags.

sane // wifisfuneralWhere stories live. Discover now