That Smile (a Chansaw story) EDITING

Chapter 32: Pain

⚠️ Trigger warning this chapter mentions suicide and thoughts of suicide ⚠️

Veronica Sawyer's POV

"Hey I'm gonna go check on Mac and then I'll be back." I nodded then she left the room. I stood up and grabbed a piece of paper from Heather's desk and then walked into the bathroom. I opened her medicine cabinet and took out a bottle of Tylenol. It was new so I took the packaging of and threw it in the trash. With tears running down my face I wrote on the note "I'm sorry Heather, I love you" and that was it. I loved her so much and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but life is just to much for me right now. I need out. I picked up the pills and screwed off the cap. I held the bottle up to my mouth and then I tipped all of them in. At that moment the door opened.

"VERONICA, NO." She ran up to me, "spit them out, SPIT THEM OUT. Veronica, Ronnie, Sawyer, honey, love of my life, please if you care about me at all you will spit them out. She held out her hand and I spit them all into it. She walked over to the sink and washed them down the drain. I ran into her arms and she held me tightly. Heather was crying now too, but then Mac walked in.

"Hey I heard a lot of noise, I was just wondering what was going on." She just looked at the two of us nodded and then walked out.

Heather grabbed my hand and then walked me back into her room and sat me down in her bed, then she sat down next to me. I watched the tears flow out of her eyes, "Veronica I love you too much to lose you, you know that right?" I nodded, "Then why?" Her voice broke while saying this.

"I w-want the pain to go away." Was all I could manage to spit out, there was so much more I wanted to say but I just couldn't.

She brought me into another hug, "I'm
s-sorry." I hadn't heard these two words come out of her mouth until we started dating. I grabbed back onto her and she grabbed back onto me.

Mac walked in with three plates of food and I saw Chandler quickly wipe her tears. "Chandler you don't have to, I've seen you cry before."

"Yeah but that was back in like 8th grade. Don't you remember? I'm not supposed to have emotions." She laughed after saying that.

I grabbed her hand and shook my head, "That's not true."

"Yes it is, I don't have emotions Ronnie."

I giggled, "Yes you do." She rolled her eyes, smiled, and then looked back over at Mac. I knew she did this just to make me laugh, I snuggled up to her and watched her and Mac start to eat the pasta that Mac had made.

"Veronica, you really should eat something." She gave me puppy eyes to try and persuade me to eat at least just a bit.

"Heather I'm really not hungry."

Mac looked over at us, "I mean Veronica you are..." Chandler quickly shook her head. Mac looked confused but she stopped talking.

"It's fine Heather, you can tell her."

"Are you sure?" She asked, but I nodded. "She had a miscarriage, that's why we left so early last night."

I immediately felt myself being pulled into a hug, "I'm so sorry." I felt my eyes start to fill up with tears again I felt Chandler try to wipe them away, I know she hates seeing me cry.

After lunch Mac left and then again it was just me and Heather at the house, "Hey, we never did make out last night." I said with a smirk on my face.

"I never said we were gonna make out."

I made puppy eyes at her, "Please."

"Ronnie, I don't know if that's the best idea, and there's some stuff we need to talk about."

"Please, I promise I'll talk after."

"Still I don't kn-" I cut her off with a long passionate kiss.

She shook her head, "please Heather." I whispered.

"Ok fine." Then she went back in for another kiss.