That Smile (a Chansaw story) EDITING

Chapter 36: Another look at todays lunch

⚠️ Trigger warning this chapter shows signs of anorexia and suicide. ⚠️

Veronica Sawyer's POV

Heather handed me a plate of food and a bottle of water before sitting down next to me. "Are you not gonna eat anything?"

She shook her head, "I'm not hungry."

I sat my plate down on the bed, "Well I'm not either." I was telling the truth, I honestly wasn't. Even though I haven't eaten anything for days, hunger has just seemed where off on me.

"Well I've actually ate today." She answered with a smirk, "And it's your favorite so please eat it." She put her hand on my leg palm up and waited for me to grasp it. I sat there holding her hand and looking down at the plate. Even though deep down I know I'm skinny it's really not what I see. On the plate there was spaghetti obviously with lots of oregano. I really didn't want it but I wanted to make Heather happy. I picked up the fork and twirled a piece of pasta around it. I just looked at it, "Veronica, are you ok?" I nodded before placing the fork in my mouth. It was so good but I still didn't want it, "Hey, you look like you're gonna pass out. Are you sure you're good?" I nodded again.

I only ended up eating about half of the small plate of spaghetti but Heather looked satisfied. I laid down next to Heather and I felt terrible. I swear I'm gonna throw up.

"H-H-Heather?" I asked with my breath starting to quicken.

"Yeah Ronnie?" She said looking over at me with a worried expression.

"I d-don't feel good." I tried to continue the conversation but ended up trying to run to the bathroom.

I only made is a couple steps from the bed before throwing up. Heather walked over to me and helped me into the bathroom. I felt tears start to run down my cheeks again while I looked out the door, "I-I'm s-s-s-sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault that I pushed you to eat."

After sitting there for ten minutes and throwing up two more times I was done. When I walked out of the bathroom the vomit on the carpet was gone and Heather was laying in bed.

I walked over to her and quietly heard her say, "hey" I got in bed with her and right away she cuddled up to me. She was normally a lot more distant and let me come to her. We ended up spooning with her being the the big spoon and me being the small. I put my head in the crook of her neck then closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes I saw the clock said 7:05. On the inside I started to panic. I shook Heather, "Hey wake up, we have to go."

"Ronnie calm down, you're not going today."

"Yes we are!"

I felt her warm hand grasp my rather cold one. She pulled me back into the bed, "Ronnie I'm not gonna take you to school just to get picked on more." She gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I then dragged her out of bed.

We were only half way into third period and Heather was right, somehow everyone knows I was pregnant so now I'm getting called a dyke and a slut. Heather looked over at me and gave me a small smile.

I raised my hand, "May I go to the restroom?"

"Yeah" was all the teacher told me.

I got up and the second I walked into the bathroom I pulled the bottle out of my pocket.
I tried to open them but couldn't, "STUPID CHILDPROOF CAPS!" I screamed out of frustration. After at least five more minutes of struggling to get them open I finally did. It looked like this anxiety pills would actually be worth getting. I held the bottle up to my mouth then I heard someone push the door open. I hurried and tipped the bottle so all the pills fell into my mouth.

"Veronica?" It was Mac, she looked down at the bottle in my hand. "Veronica! Spit them out!" She ran over to me, I spit the pill out so then scattered across the floor. I slid against the wall so that I was now sitting. Mac crushed a couple pills with her shoes before sitting next to me.