𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 (FNaF College) (Book 2 of 3)

Chapter 14

===Foxy's POV===

I smash my fist into my bedroom wall as the tears begin to sting my eyes and fall to the ground. I've never felt this kind of pain. I've never had this feeling in my chest, a burning of unimaginable rage. Unimaginable pain. She said that she would never betray me. She told me that she would only ever love me. But here she is. Her spit on his tongue. She lied to me.
I fall to the floor in defeat and curl up into my legs and sob. Sob until my sides hurt, until my lungs burn. I can't help scream out into the empty night in my rage and in my pain. I can't help but get to my feet and swipe everything off my desk. All of my junk clatters to the floor as I pick up one end of my desk, flipping it upside down. I grab at my hair in frustration as I try to understand. As I try to comprehend. How could she do this to me? How could she just move on when I'm still in love with her! When she said that she'd still love me! Once again I can't help myself and slam my clenched fist into my wall. The drywall breaks under the pressure and my fist goes through the wall. As the dust settles, I can begin to feel the pain settling into my knuckles. I can feel blood dripping from my knuckles and falling to the floor among the dust.

I'm about to cry out again when my door flies open and Chica practically sprints in. I can only imagine the figure that she is seeing before her. This pathetic shell and shadow of a monster. This shadow standing amongst the ruin that is his life. Tears streaming down his face as his blood drips from his hand and mixing with the tears and dust on the floor. She just stands there in shock at the state of me, and I stare at her without emotion in my eyes, only pain. Only anger. Only sadness. Only regret. I fall to my knees as she rushes to me, catching me in her arms and holding me close. I want to break away from her but I just can't help myself anymore and let go. Letting the tears roll off my cheeks and become absorbed by her shirt. Out of reflex, I wrap my arms around her and squeeze tightly, hoping to find the warmth I'm missing. To find the love that I have been denied. To find the cure to my pain, but not finding anything in her embrace.

"Foxy... please you have to calm down." She pleads, not letting up on her grasp of me.

"I can't! I won't!" I try to say in between my sobs.
"She betrayed me!" My voice breaks and my chest expands and contracts erratically, making it ache with every breath that I take. I can't speak anymore, all I can do is slam my fist into the floor. Letting the tears sting and burn my eyes as they fall onto the floor. Chica continues to try and comfort me, holding me as I continue to break. As I continue to feel this pain. This betrayal. This rage and despair.

"You need to stop. You're hurting yourself even more. Look at your hands." I comply and stare at them through heavy and teary eyes and see the cuts and bruises that sit on my hands. My knuckles ache and sting, but the longer I stare at them the more I can't seem to feel it. But I can feel it. The sting of the open cuts, but it's just numb.
"I don't know what happened, so I can't imagine what you're feeling, but please, you need to stop this. You need to stop hurting youself like this." She pleads, holding on to me a little tighter. 
"Please, just stop. I can't bear to see you like this." Her voice starts to break as well and her body starts to tremble a little. I can't think of why seeing me like this is so heart-breaking to her. I can't think of why she is so concerned for my well being when I have done nothing but try and push her and everyone else away. Away from me. Away from my pain.
"Just for now, calm down and tell me what happened." She tries her best to put on a brave and calm voice, pulling me away from her and making me looking into her megenta colored eyes. They are filled with a kind and caring look. I've never noticed how dark and deep they actually are. Behind the brave front that she's put on I can see a deep pain in them. A great sorrow that resonates deep inside of her.
I do my best to push my rage down and sit back on my own, tears still streaming down my face. With my fists clentched to the point that my nails are digging into my skin, I try and convey to Chica the whole story. Meeting Golden Freddy and the wisdom that he imposed on me. About the night that I forgave myself and everything that I had done. About my plan to talk to Mangle and apologize to her. About seeing her with her lips locked with some stranger. Chica just sits there, taking in everything that I say through a broken voice, the look of care and kindess in her eyes never changing, but the great sorrow growing with every word that I speak until I finish.

"I just... I... It hurts so much." I grab my chest, over where my heart beats so painfully.
"I don't know what to do. What am I suppose to do? How am I suppose to live with this? How can I live with this? I just don't know! It would be easier for everyone if I just to curled up and died!" I shout at the top of my lungs until a hand slaps me across the cheek. The sudden strike takes me off guard and I just stare back at Chica surprised. The girl who is normally so quiet, so calm, so level headed just striked me. My face stings as I bring my hand up to touch the spot where I was struck. When I stare back up at Chica her eyes are full of tears and she does her best to hold back sobs.

"Don't say that. Don't ever say that." She say quietly barely able to keep herself from bursting into tears.
"Do you think that it would be easier for me? For Bonnie and Freddy if you died. Would it be better for us? We're your friends! Don't you get that? We're here for you, to help you get through the bad!" I've never seen Chica act in this way. Shouting. Crying. It's all so foreign.
"You push us away when we're only trying to help you! We care about you! I care about you." Chica pauses for a moment after saying this, almost in disbelief that she let that last sentence out.
"So don't you dare! Don't you ever dare say that it would be easier for everyone if you were dead!" As those final words leave her lips she begins sobbing aloud, no longer able to suppress it. I find that I don't know what to do, or what to say. But I can tell from that short pause that she had, that there is more that she wants to say. More that she wants to feel, but won't allow herself to. 

"I'm sorry." I say simply and hang my head so my gaze is to the ground. My gaze doesn't remain long on the ground as Chica takes my face in both her hands gently and raises my eyes back to her.

"Just let us share in your pain. Let us help you carry your burden... let me share in your pain." She says it in so much pain. Like shes gone or is going through what I am now. Not being able to be with the one that she loves. 

"Okay. But it's so heavy." I say quietly still staring into Chica's dark magenta eyes.

"That's why you shouldn't carry it alone." I try to force a smile, but I can tell that it's ugly. That's when something dawns on me.

"Where are Bonnie and Freddy?" I ask, wiping away tears from my eyes. My chest and lungs still aching.

"We were putting equipment away when I heard the crashing from inside. I rushed in without saying anything. So they're probably still putting the stuff away." The smile that I forced fades away as a feeling of guilt starts to weigh on me.

"Sorry... For leaving like I did... I just. I couldn't stay there anymore."

"It's okay Foxy. I understand. If you tell the others what happened, I know they will too." Chica reassures me with a smile that is actually pretty. Not forced. Try as I might though, I just can't get that question out of my head.

How am I suppose to live now?