𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 (FNaF College) (Book 2 of 3)

Chapter 4

===Foxy's POV===

My mind wanders a little aimless as I watch on at the lecture before me. Well, it wants to wander, but in reality, all it seems to want to focus on is Mangle. All I can picture is the way she looked at me Saturday night. That look of anguish as well as hatred and love. That look broke my heart... at least whatever fragments are left of it. Lately, I haven't felt much. Just the numbness that has set in. But that night I felt a multitude of emotions combine together. All I remember is that it hurt like hell. That anger and hatred towards myself. The compassion and love that I still have for Mangle, and the itching at the back of my mind that tells me over and over. You can't be with her because of what you did. You know you can't. I want to yell at that voice. I want to rip that itch out of my head. But I never do because I know it's right. I know that what the voice speaks is the truth. I'm a monster for what I have done, and Mangle deserves someone better than I. Much better. 

"hey, foxy you in there?" A hushed voice beckons me from the seat behind mine. I don't turn around. I don't move. I don't speak. My pen continues to scribble down notes as I halfway pay attention to the man leading the class. This time a few taps rhythmically dance on my shoulder, but even still I don't respond to their call. Finally, an assault of both voice and rhythm calls for my attention to which I respond by turning back and snarling at Bonnie who is trying to get my attention, a hatred in my eyes that I've never had before. Immediately, Bonnie backs off. A look of fear in his eyes as he silently apologizes. Great. I'm lashing out at my friends again.

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Mangle is here. She's here. Of all places why did she have to be here? Just to fuck with my head? Just for revenge after what I put her through? Just to drive the knife deeper into my heart that is already aching? The entire time I've been apart from her has been mortal agony. Has been nothing but torment and torture on a level that I have never experienced. So why? Why does this have to hurt more? This burning anguish inside. This anger that wants to be released. That I want to scream until my lungs give out. Until my vocal cords are torn up and shot. Until I fall to the floor, beating my chest, and crying in all this pain. This pain is so far beyond anything I've experienced. My head is screaming at me. My vision is blurry. I can't think straight. I can't see straight. I hide my face in my hands and try to push this anger away. To bury so I don't have to feel it. I want to scream, but I don't. I want to cry, but I can't.
I sit by myself in the cafeteria, just like back in high school. Back before I knew Mangle. The feeling so familiar yet has become so foreign. The noise of all of the other students' flood around me, making my head ache with an annoying pain at the very back of my head. Shivers rush down my body as this anger builds with every passing second that I am forced to listen to all of their incessant noise. They laugh and argue and bicker. I hate it. I hate them.
I sit with my friends, probably the only ones that I'll ever have, but I've become fed up with listening to the constant noise around me. I stand up from my seat rather quickly, not saying a word to anyone and walking off back towards mine and the others house. I still have an hour or so before I have my next class.

"Foxy? Where are you going?" Freddy asks as soon as I stand up. I don't answer him or any of the other questions the others throw at me. I don't feel like talking, not today. I just need time to think... yeah. I just need time to think and cool off. Then everything can hopefully go back to normal. But my thoughts are cut short as I step outside of the cafeteria amongst a sea of other students. They crowd and swarm around past me as I stand looking onward into the crowd where she stands, staring back at me. But it's not just her staring at me. Behind her, I can see him. Staring at me as well with that same malicious look. It's now as I look on upon a sea of blurry faces at the one I love the most in this world and at the one I hate with every fiber of my being, that I realize... Things can never go back to the way they were. Not when I see her around every corner. Not when I see him, always tailing closely behind her.
I will not let her presence here stop me though. I won't let it slow me down. I won't let her get into my head. I won't let him get into my head.
She follows me closely with those bright eyes of hers as I walk past her without so much as a side glance, and I can feel her stare as I leave. Those eyes piercing me. They make me feel cold now. Before I felt a stunning warmth when I looked into them, but now... Now all I feel is the cold. All I feel is the lack of emotion that she has adopted. She... has become like me. It's only a matter of time before she falls far past saving as I did before her. Hopefully someone better will come and save her... I'm no good for her. Not anymore.