DHADKAN

GUILT

Zoya entered her room and went straight to the washroom. She turned on the tap and started throwing water on her face. She turned off the tap and looked at her crying self into the mirror.

She slowly removed her dupatta and looked at the bites given by Sahir on all over her neck. She touched them with her bare fingers and hissed in pain. Her eyes went on her lips which were swollen due to kiss. She touched them and closed her eyes. All the memories of Sahir of that day started coming back in her mind.

She opened her eyes and threw more water on her face in anger. She was constantly trying to forget what happened but the more she tried, the more it was becoming difficult.

She removed her clothes and looked at her naked body in the mirror. There were bruises and red marks on all over her body. Her breasts was swollen due to sucking and her nipples were covered with biting marks. Her womanhood was hurting too.

Zoya could hardly stand straight. She was feeling weak both physically and emotionally. She cried badly keeping her palm on her mouth to let not anyone hear her. She felt guilty for her acts, guilt for sleeping with Sahir, guilty for betraying her Abbu & lying to him and most of all, guilty for betraying her own self.

She cheated her Abbu when he trusted her blindly. She looked at her face in the mirror and found a cheater staring back at her. She was feeling ashamed of herself.

"Kya hua Zoya?", she found questioning herself in the mirror with folded hands.

She touched her bruises and tear rolled down her eyes. "Abbu ne kitna bharosa kia tha hum pr. Aur humne ek jhatke me usse tod dia. Itne selfish kase ho skte hain hum?", Zoya questioned to herself who was standing on the other side of the mirror.

"Yeh nishaan tumhe mohabbat me mile h Zoya. Aur mohabbat me to koi bhi selfish ho skta h na. Tum bhi!", Zoya on the other side replied with a smile.

"Yeh nishaan mohabbat ke nhi h, yeh ghaav h. Woh ghaav h jinn pr koi marham nhi lag skta. Woh ghaav jo humesha hamari galti yaad dilaenge", she told to herself.

"Achcha, to yeh ghaav h? To fir mujhe yeh batao yeh ghaav lete waqt to tumhe koi dard nhi hua. Ab kyu ro rhi ho?", Zoya of the other world asked to the Zoya of real world.

"Woh sirf ek galti thi", Zoya replied in a firm tone.

"Galti?", Zoya in the mirror laughed loudly.

"Aapko hansi aa rhi h!", Zoya shouted in anger at the laughing Zoya.

"Achcha baba sorry! Woh kabhi kabhi na mujhe tumhare bevkoofi pr bahut hansi aati hai", she told controlling her laughter. She further asked, "Achcha yeh batao ki iss 'galti' ko kase theek krogi? Abbu ko sach bata kr?".

Zoya get into thinking for a moment. She splashed more water on her face as if she'll get her answer through it.

She looked up again and said, "Aaj ke baad hum Sahir ke khayal se bhi door rahenge. Hum wahi karenge jo Abbu kahenge. Ussi ladke se nikaah karenge jisse Abbu ne pasand kia h".

"Hmmmm great idea!", Zoya on other side sarcastically said showing her thumbs up.

Before Zoya could reply, someone knocked on her washroom's door. "Zoya bete, aap ander h?", Ammi asked.

"Jii Ammi! Bas aa rhe h", Zoya replied.

"Beta khana lag gya h. Aap jaldi neeche aa jaiye", Ammi told her and left.

Zoya looked back into the mirror & saw only her naked reflection in it. She was gone!

Zoya turned on the shower and stood below it, wishing to wash every memory of him with the running water. She came outside with the towel wrapped around her and changed into her night wears.