Chapter Nineteen: Suga Disappeared Again

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When V told me that Suga was gone again I felt my legs give out under me as I cried and my knees met the cold marble floor and I heard Jungkook practically jump off the couch, " RACHEL", Jungkook ran over to me and fell beside me and pulled me on his lap as I cried, " he's gone...h-h-h-he's gone again", I was shaking really bad as Jungkook rubbed me on my back, I couldn't speak at all then I heard Jimin talk, " how do you know that Suga just left? and that he's not just so fucking drunk he lost track of the time?", RM then began to speak, " that's what I thought about at first so I went into his and Rachel's room to see if he tried to call or not and I noticed that his bag was gone so I looked in his closet and he has about two weeks worth of clothes gone."

Jungkook then finally spoke up, " TWO WEEKS WORTH BUT THE DANCE IS LITERALLY A WEEK AWAY AND HE DECIDES TO LEAVE NOW?", RM cringed a little I could tell my older brother wasn't fully awake yet as he spoke again, " yes Jungkook he decided to leave now and please don't yell I'm not awake yet", I stood up crying and I grabbed my bag from Jimin with my dress, shoe's and accessories for the dance in it and I started walking to my room and I got stopped by V, " Rachel are you ok?", I didn't look at him no I'm not ok but I cant let them know, " I'm fine V just please let me go I want to be alone", with hesitation V let me go and I walked to mine and Suga's room and shut our door and I began to cry again.

I decided to take a bath so I ran a hot bath and I got in the tub where my thoughts began to roam, first I loose my mom and my sister, then I lost my child I never got to meet, and now I lost my own boyfriend...am I really that unlovable that I have to loose everyone and everything that means the world to me?, I cried once more as I slid myself down into the bath more, who was he talking to on the phone that night? and where did he go? and who is he with?....and why right before the dance?, I cried even more as I sat in the tub fighting off the thoughts of picking the razor blade back up again, its silent so my guess is that everyone went back to sleep or in Jungkook and Jimin's case went to bed.

I got out of the bath after I cleaned myself up and I walked to my closet to change into pajamas I was getting ready to grab the night gown that Suga bought me but I quickly stopped when something else had caught my attention covered up by a bunch of Suga's shirts, I walked over to it and threw Suga's shirts to the side and I burst into tears when I saw the hoodie, sweat pants, and the T-shirt that Jungkook gave me, " that son of a bitch told me he burned them because Jungkook gave them to me...they been here this whole time", I threw Suga's shirts so hard that I knocked over my lamp on my side of the closet and I broke it.

I walked out of mine and Suga's closet and shut the door and I put on my under garments then I threw on Jungkook's sweat pants and T- Shirt he gave me and I put on his hoodie and laid in mine and Suga's bed and closed my eyes to try and sleep but I just couldn't and I began to cry again, I brought Jungkook's hoodie sleeves up to my face and my nose was filled with the scent of Jungkook's cologne I tried to fall asleep but I couldn't...not in the bed that me and Suga shared, I climbed out of my bed and grabbed my phone and charger and walked out of mine and Suga's room and shut the door and I went next door to Jungkook's room and softly knocked, " please still be awake Jungkook".

I was laying in my bed in silence, yes I was pissed off at Rachel for what she was doing with Jimin in that fucking club but once she got home and RM told her what happened with Suga and I watched her fall to the floor I didn't care about that I only cared about her, I knew she was crying after V let her go I heard her crying when I walked past hers and Suga's room to go to mine and then it was drowned out by the sound of running water in the tub, I kept laying in my bed listening next door and heard her crying again and then say something out loud then I heard something break.

I sighed I wanted to go into her room so bad and just hold her but she most likely thinks I'm still angry at her and like she told V she wanted to be alone, I was about to turn off my light when I heard a small knock on my door and looked at my door and hear a faint sentence," please still be awake Jungkook", I smiled it was Rachel outside my room asking if I was still awake I smiled and said something," come in", I watched as my door opened a little bit and I saw her beautiful face peek in but I could see the tears glistening on her face in the moonlight and it broke my heart," awe Rachel come here", she quickly scurried in shutting my door behind her and came over to me and climbed in the bed with me crying and I held on to her and rubbed her back.

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