SHE (bk 1)

SIXTEEN

HARRY

He drew her eyes glossy, some of the shade work he had done showing the tears in the corner of her eye, lips frowned downward into the saddest frown he'd ever seen. Harry knew he wanted to draw every emotion she had to offer but he didn't know how bad it would hurt to see this one. Every line he drew made his chest feel heavier, the anxiety pushing closer to its breaking point with each second he sat in silence.

Harry and Clementine hadn't seen each other in over a week and it was taking a toll on both of them, always wondering what the other one was doing. It was like Harry was finishing a puzzle and someone took the last piece away, his happiness diminishing to nothing like before. Camille had once again become the monster in his life reeking havoc like she had when they were dating.

She only wanted Harry sometimes and the times she didn't seemed like the lowest points of his life, her love being the only thing he craved for so long. But now it was different, this hurt with Clementine was somehow worse and he couldn't take another second of it.

Dressed in his gray joggers and a black long sleeve shirt he places a beanie on his head, determined to find her. Walking through New York was once again not ideal when people recognized him but he was on a mission and no one could distract him. Her building was in sight and he could see the twinkling lights from the roof from the other block, she must be up there.

Climbing the fire escape he finds himself in the same place he had been when they first met, the blonde sitting in the swing with a bottle of wine. Her legs kicked as she swung back and forth, her blonde hair hanging over the back of the cushion, his lips twitch into a smile. He was so happy to see her.

"Ya know i'm getting deja vu," Clementine jumps when she hears his rocky voice, eyes wide as she stares back at him. He looked so tired. Nothing like he had the past month when they hung out.

She bites her bottom lip hard, "Harry...what are you doing here?," her question hurts because before when he showed up she welcomed him with open arms. This time was different. Clementine was hurt and remedying her pain with alcohol, her week had been terrible and the only person she wanted to talk to was her mother.

She had cried herself to sleep every night and cried some more in the shower the next morning, you could tell but no one said anything. Even so she got up every day and put her bright, shiny smile on her lips and went to work where she was verbally abused by her ex. Max had gotten even worse the past few days and no matter how hard she tried to get rid of him he always popped back up. 

"Sorry...I haven't stopped thinking about what happened last week and I just wanted to say i'm sorry," he took a couple steps forward and rocked on his heels out of nervousness, "Camille was rude and you didn't deserve that."

She knew she didn't deserve it but it didn't mean it didn't sting, "That's not really your fault, just an unexpected situation that through me off," Clementine admitted. It was weird to have someone you had never even met basically write you off as a bad person before you even exchange names. "You can come sit."

Clementine wasn't sure if she wanted Harry to come sit next to her or she just felt bad he had been beating himself up all week about their exchange. Either way Harry was practically running to take the spot next to her on the swing, eyes wide and curious as she drank more wine. She immediately handed him the bottle to which he gladly accepted, a couple gulps being taken down as she stared. 

It looked like he hadn't showered in days, "She was abusive ya know," he mutters out and Clementine immediately feels her heart drop. "Not physically but emotionally, she would just  tear me down until I was nothing and then tell me I was the one who was exhausting her," the thought of the tall blonde 'witch' terrorizing Harry for so long made her angry. 

He smiled, "When she broke up with...she told that no one could ever make me happy. She told me I was so miserable that I would take down whoever I brought around me and I kind of let that be true for a while," the small confession made Clementine smile slightly. 

"That's personal growth," she pats his shoulder and he gives her a confused glance, "To admit that you're doing something wrong and try to fix it, most people have a really hard time correcting their ways."

It was true and she was in the same boat, Clementine was so used to doing everything for everyone else that she never helped herself. Now that her mother was gone it was even harder, she finally had the time to do things for herself but found it hard to do them. She felt like she didn't deserve it. 

"Why were you on the roof that night?," he finally works up the courage to ask and sees the shock flash onto her face. There was an obvious sadness to her that night, and every night for that matter. "You don't need to tell me but I want to hear if you'll let me."

Clementine lets a loud breath leave her nose before speaking, "I had just gotten back from my mother's funeral."

Her words hung in the air for a moment and the sound of a siren in the distance occupied them both as their minds wandered. What could he possibly say to comfort her?

"I'm so sorry."

She nodded gently and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before drinking more wine, the fuzziness in her head helping as she spoke her next sentence. 

"Sometimes tragedy helps people grow and I hope that's what this is for me."