SHE (bk 1)

SEVENTEEN

CLEMENTINE

"Do you think you're growing?," Harry asks gently, looking toward the girl who shrank back into the plush cushion. 

Her mind was racing and her mouth was opening but no words were coming out. Was she growing and being the best person she could be?

"I think right now it hurts too much," she whispers and looks over at him, Harry wasn't pitying her or trying to gather information. He was caring. "I have taken care of her since I was thirteen so now that she's gone I just feel like i'm lost, I don't know how to carry on normally," she reasoned. 

Harry could relate to feeling completely lost in his own plot but for different circumstances, he didn't have a tragic past that was eating him up inside. He almost felt guilt about feeling the way he did when Clementine had it so much worse than he did, she was utterly alone. 

"Do you have siblings?," he asks timidly and she continues to stare off into the city as her head shook.

Her mother thought it was too cruel to bring another person into this world who depended on her when she didn't know how long she'd actually be around. Clementine wanted to argue that she would have an even harder time with no support but didn't want to upset her mother.

"No siblings, no dad, no cousins, no grandparents and, now no mother," the words tasted bitter on her tongue but it felt good to tell someone else she was suffering. "I am completely alone."

Harry's eyes began to water without his permission, this whole time he thought his break-up was the worst thing that could ever happen to him. He was so stupid and insensitive, she had everything worse than him but was still going without stopping. What was his problem? He hated being rich and famous. How stupid.

"Harry?," she sets her wine glass down and places a hand on his shoulder when she notices a tear drip down his cheek. "What's wrong?," he wanted to tell her how selfish he was being and how thankful he was to have everything in his life but he was afraid. He was afraid she would hate him for being so self-involved.

He was depressed he had so many people who relied on him and loved him, upset a woman had stomped on his heart and didn't care, and mad his family grilled him on his mental health every chance they got. But Clementine had none of it. She didn't have a family who cared or someone to look after her when she was down, and she most definitely didn't have endless amounts of money. 

"I'm sorry I just feel so terrible," he whispers out and she looks away smiling slightly, it was almost unsettling how big her grin got. A laugh falling from her lips as she sipped her wine once again, she must be laughing at him?

Clementine turns her body toward Harry and hugs her knees to her chest, "It's not a competition ya know? I didn't tell you all those things to make you feel bad about your struggles or invalidate the way you're feeling because that's unfair," she uses the blanket to wipe the tears falling down his cheeks. 

"Just because you're rich and famous doesn't mean you have to be happy, depression and anxiety don't just pick us normal people. Thinking that way is how people end up even worse than how they started, you're allowed to have a different struggle than me. Just because mine seems worse doesn't mean you have to bottle it all up and stay quiet," she tells him with a small smile, the smile was sad but so meaningful to him. 

No one had ever cared that he was feeling so down and unhappy, they thought he had everything he needed in life. 

Harry immediately reaches forward and pulls the small blonde into his chest, a squeak leaving her lips as she collides with him. He was going to ask to hug her but he couldn't risk her saying no, he wanted to keep her there forever against him. Her hand pats his back gently and a smile graces her lips, she knew no one had shown him the kindness he so needed right now. 

And she was incredibly happy to be the one to give it to him.

~~~~

Harry was passed out on Clementine's couch, his mouth hanging open while snores engulfed the nearly silent apartment. This was the first morning Clementine didn't cry in the shower, and the first night in a week she hadn't cried herself to sleep. She was taking baby steps and even if she couldn't yet open the bedroom door her mother had once occupied, she was getting there. 

Clementine was already having a cup of coffee dressed in her clothes to go to the diner, a pink knit sweater on her upper half while light ripped jeans adorned her legs. She slid on a pair of brown boots and crouched down beside Harry who stirred when she placed a hand on his shoulder. 

His eyes blinked a couple of times to adjust to the new found light but he didn't seem to mind, the sight before him being one of the most beautiful. Clementine. 

Her white teeth were on display as she smiled down at him, her big gray eyes looking brighter than usual. He could tell she was ready to start her day and immediately sat upright. 

"You want to come to the diner with me? I can make you breakfast on the house...not that you can't pay for it," she playfully winks at him and his heart dive bombs into his stomach, why did she have such a grasp on him? 

Harry rubs his eyes and nods silently, he wasn't particularly a morning person but he might be if he woke up to her every morning. "Sounds good love," his voice came out in a raspy growl and her stomach turned. It was sort of cute. 

She could only hope this happiness would last today, the thought of Max once again ruining her plans was right at the top of her thoughts.