SHE (bk 1)

THIRTY ONE

"Where have you guys been? I've been going crazy thinking something happened to you," Harry took in the look on both of the women's faces as they walked through the elevator door. Gemma looked absolutely wrecked while Clementine looked helpless, her eyes sunken in with sadness. 

Anne and Robin looked up from the couch as Gemma spoke, "Mom I think we should talk to Harry now," she nods and Clementine bites her bottom lip before intertwining her fingers with Gemma to give it a squeeze of reassurance. 

"I'm going to um...shower," Clementine blushes and books it toward her room where she would find safety from this family meeting. She surely did not want to intrude on such an intimate conversation, and she also did not want to see Harry's reaction. Just the thought crushed her chest. 

Gemma moved forward to sit beside her mother while Harry stood looking at the three of them, wanting to go after Clementine to tell her to keep him company during this stupid family meeting. "What a family meeting? Is it something stupid again?"

The last family meeting consisted of Gemma telling them she was leaving to work on a marijuana farm but that hadn't worked out at all. Harry had traveled all the way back home to be apart of a stupid prank, and he hoped for Gemma's sake this wasn't one of them.

"No Harry we actually...we came early for a reason," Anne sits forward slightly and attached her hand to her husbands knee in comfort. "We wanted to give you time to digest the news before Christmas so we can have a nice holiday together," the man nodded slowly while looking around the room.

There was a thick tension in the air that he couldn't identify but it made him sick, "Are you pregnant or something?," he raised a brow in disgust as Robin laughed, Anne scolding him with an eyeroll.

Robin patted his wife's knee before continuing, "Well Harry I went to the Doctor a little while ago since I was having trouble breathing like I told you. The scans that the doctors took showed some things," he continued while admiring Harry's pale expression. 

His eyes were wide and a frown was deeply etched onto his lips, "What-what did the scans show?"

Robin took in a deep breath before answering his question, "I have a tumor near my right lung and mets that are only growing in both...I was diagnosed with stage three lung cancer," he finally spoke out, igniting the room in a silence that was anything but comfortable.

Disbelief was clear on the curly haired mans face, a cold sweat had started on his forehead and it felt like an anvil had been dropped on his chest. "So...what can they do?," he asks quietly and he watches as all of them exchange a few glances. Harry's eyes close as he shakes his head, their looks were not promising ones.

"We wanted to enjoy Christmas because this could very well be my last."

Harry blew out a breath of air before standing to his towering height, eyes blazing in fury as he looked around the room. "How long have you guys known?," he barks into the silence.

Gemma jumped and Anne wore a worried expression, "Now Harry-"

"How fucking long have you all known without telling me? You told me the doctors appointment went fine but...you're dying," he whispers the last part before his hands instinctively reach out for the vase next to him on the coffee table. 

It shatters into pieces as it hits the wall next to the elevator, startling everyone in the room, including Clementine who had just gotten dressed. Her un-bandaged feet take her into the living room quickly and take in the scene before her, eyes wide as Harry grabbed the lamp on the other table. 

It flung through the air and landed a few feet from the small blonde who squealed in surprise. Her feet take her away from the broken glass that flung near her bedroom, terrified eyes watching the tall man as he grabs at another vase. 

"Harry stop," she grits out and his hand halts before it can make contact with the vase, "Take a deep breath and calm down," her words soothe him but not enough.

"How can I calm down when they have been hiding this from me for so long," his words turn into venom as he throws the vase now in his fingertips, hitting the wall near Clementine again.

She was feeling her chest start to constrict as she looked at the glass covering the ground but she did not want to make this situation about her. This was about Robin and his health, Harry needed to accept it and spend time with his step father not waste it by being angry. 

"Harry I know you're mad and that's okay but you need to think of what's important here," she speaks while the Styles clan watch her, "Spending time with him while he is still here, you can be angry but do not neglect him while he is here because you will regret it believe me," she bites her bottom lip to keep her tears in but one fell without her permission.

She knew the exact feeling he was going through right now, it was an irrational anger at the unknown that he would take out on the people around him. He needed to get around that anger pulsing through his veins and breathe, "Just breathe."

His body turns away from them as he takes in deep breaths, he knew she was right but he could not get rid of the burning in his chest. A panic attack was in hot pursuit as they all stared at him, he hadn't had one in so long and the unwelcome feeling caused him to gasp for air. 

"Harry?," He heard light footsteps coming toward him but it was too late, his head was spinning and the world around him was growing dim. It was almost comforting for him as he hit the ground, a loud thud reverberating through the quiet apartment. 

The group erupted in distress as they surrounded him and watched as he happily passed out on the floor, breathing heavy even so. If he was passed out he wouldn't need to be thinking and working himself up even more.

He thought of Clementine's question when they first met as darkness overtook him.

"What are you thinking?"

And in this moment he was thinking the exact same thing as that night. 

Disappearing.