affection || reddie 💫

Chapter 23

*time skip to after school*

Richie fumbled around with the keys to his house as he began unlocking his front door, he then stepped inside quietly, shutting it behind him before beginning to head over to the stairs. Suddenly he stopped himself when he heard both his parents talking in the kitchen, which was unusual because they usually weren't home around this time and he didn't hear them speaking a lot.

He quietly walked over and tried to listen in to what they were saying.

"He can't be gay..!" Maggie yelled.

"He was kissing that Kaspbrak kid, Maggie! And he told me himself..!"

"You mean Eddie?"

"Yeah.. you know maybe if you spent more time watching him we would've known sooner..! And he wouldn't of felt like he had to hide it from us..!"

"Do not blame this on me! You haven't been much of a good parent either! All you do is go on business trips and we don't see you for weeks at a time..!"

"Yeah well at least when I am here I talk to him, so maybe you shou—"

Richie then walked into the kitchen, causing both of his parents to go silent and look at him. He adjusted his glasses and held onto the straps of his backpack, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. "Oh Richard.. when did you get home..?" Wentworth asked, now in a more quieter voice, "just then.. but of course you wouldn't know, neither of you ever pay attention to what i'm doing.. and to be honest, i'd rather it stay that way," Richie frowned, looking down at the floor.

"Richie, sweetie, is what your father said true..? Y-you don't like boys do you..?" Maggie questioned, causing Richie to look over at his dad, tears welling in his eyes, "I.. I.." was all Richie managed to get out before tears started streaming down his face and he was running upstairs to his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

—

Words could not describe how much Richie hated himself, more specifically, his sexuality, he had struggled with it for years but it had been a lot worse back when he was thirteen, when he would play around in the arcade with Connor Bowers, Richies hands lingering on Connors for a second too long, he didn't know how to or what to do with how he felt, he tried to push it away for so long, including his feelings for Eddie that he had for years.

When Henry came into the arcade and yelled at Richie, calling him a "faggot", it just made things worse for him, not only did he hate himself for his sexuality, but he was also getting bullied for it too, which is why for so long he had hidden it, and still does to this day to anyone except the losers club. He had of course accepted his sexuality now, because of Eddie and because being with the losers club made him feel safe and okay. He didn't feel like his feelings towards Eddie were wrong around them and that's because they weren't wrong. Nothing about it was wrong. But because he lived in Derry, anyone outside of his inner circle just wanted to tell him that he wasn't right, that even though this is how he was born, it wasn't okay.

But whenever he would beat himself up over his sexuality, or other people would try to tell him it was wrong, the thought of Eddie, Eddie Kaspbrak, would remind him that he was normal, this was normal, these feelings were normal, because he was in love with Eddie, and Eddie was in love with him. And absolutely nothing but that mattered. Nothing.

—

Richie wasn't sure how or when he fell asleep, but he woke up to the sound of someone knocking on his bedroom door, "go away!" he groaned, rolling over on his bed and pulling his glasses off since he had fallen asleep with them on. "You sure?" Eddies voice came from the other side of the door, causing Richie to sit up and watch as Eddie opened it and walked inside. "Eddie? What are you doing here..?" Richie asked, squinting his eyes to try and see him, "your dad let me in.."