Where are you?

-Chapter 19-

Wheein Pov
I look up at my ceiling with my head spinning. Hwasa likes Loco and I had to let it happen, but she didn't even tell me. I understood that we were in a position we've never been before. She won't speak to me about her day and I won't speak to her in general. Things were out of hand and I knew that we both were to blame.

I get up from my bed and head towards my phone and unlock it. I look for a song that I knew would ease my mind, but would still mange to sting my heart. I stop until I found the song I had been looking for. Through the night- iu. I click on it without hesitation and put it on full volume and lay my back against my bed.

I close my eyes and focus on her voice in hopes of forgetting everything, but I knew I could still feel everything. I think about to the way Hwasa and I would stay up until midnight talking about our dreams, but now we can't seem to even meet eye to eye. Where had it all gone wrong? I had questions but nobody had the answers to them, which made it all even more frustrating.

"Why can't it be like how it use to? Why did my heart have to love you?!" I exclaim frustratedly and feel tears building up from the frustration of hiding my feelings for so long. "Wheein?" I felt myself go rigid and couldn't even imagine what was about to happen. "Wheein, please look at me." I could hear the slight desperation in her voice, but how could I look at her without feeling that ache in my heart?

I slowly look up at her to see her standing with tears streaming down her beautiful face. But the urge to wipe her tears was replaced by the anger I felt with myself. "What?" I hadn't meant for her to see me like this. To see me angry, but with myself which I knew she would blame herself for. "What's happening?" She whispers and I look at her with a blank face as I try to gather my thoughts.

"I don't know." I sigh and turn my back on her and stare at the photo I had on my nightstand. It was Mamamoo the girls that had an unbreakable bond, but that seemed to be in front of the world. Now if they had a look at us now they'd see how we were falling apart. Know of us knew how the other felt, but I guess we were all to blame for that.

"Tell me the truth Wheein-ah, please." She says and I couldn't even look at her. "Well why don't you tell me the truth?" I spoke up and gained enough confidence to look at her right in the eyes as I see confusion written all over her face. "W-What are you talking about? I haven't been acting like a complete ass!" She exclaims and furiously wipes her tears away as I laugh and shake my head.

"So Loco ain't nothing worth telling me about?" I basically growl and I could tell she was taken back and try to find the right words. "That's not what I meant. I meant you pushing me away!" She spoke up a bit louder and I had found that to enrage me a bit more. "If you can't tell me about him then why the hell would I tell you about the so called truth?" I question her and I knew this wasn't the moment to pick up a fight.

"Wheein-ah! Please stop this isn't like you!" She begs and felt something snap within me. "This ain't me? Then what the hell are you expecting for me to be? Tell me because I can't seem to understand anything!" I yell and look to see her flinching which I take a step backwards and try to calm myself down. "You aren't like this. You're not this aggressive with me. What's wrong with you?" She asks softly but I wanted her to leave.

I didn't speak to her and let the silence overcome us. "Stop this bullshit of an attitude Wheein! I know you're in love with me you idiot! Stop hiding from me. God dammit!" She exclaims and I felt everything stop and I look back at her with an expression I knew would be full of shock. "H-How, who told you?!" I question her and she shakes her head and I knew she was just as frustrated as me.

"I hear you and Byul unnie talking. I was passing by your house and hear you both." I felt angry that she had listened to something she wasn't suppose to. "Leave." I said coldly and she looks at me shaking her head. "Please Wheein lets talk." I didn't want to hear anything she had to say. "Leave! Don't you understand I don't want you here!?" I yell and she was beginning to cry again and I felt myself shaking from anger.

"Leave. I don't want to see you." I say with poison in my voice and I see her shaking from what I could only assume was fear. "W-Wheein please, don't do this." She says crying and I couldn't be in the same room as her. "Hyejin I don't wan to see you. Leave my god damn house." I say louder, but she wouldn't budget. I walked closer to her and stood in front of her.

She was staring right back at me and I could tell she was completely hurt by everything. "Leave. You don't deserve to know me as a person. I've gave you my best and you know it. You've always know Hwasa, ain't that, right?" I was waiting for her to speak up but she hadn't. "You always knew deep down that I was in love with you. But I guess I wasn't enough, right? Loco has everything you want and I have nothing so now do me the favor of leaving. I don't want to ever be friends with someone like you." I had spilled my heart to her in that moment. In that moment I had let my feelings and thoughts get to the best of me.

Hello everyone!! How is everyone one doing? I hope you all had a wonderful day, but this is just part one of the angst don't think it's over just yet! I'm sorry for any mistakes or misspellings but I hope you all enjoy this chapter!!