If only time was unstoppable you would probably have done it already, bartering whatever was efficient in exchange of a stopping moment. The small glances from time to time in the morning wasn't enough neither the 'nonchalant' exchanges of glances you two gave each other in the after school pick-ups.
This all started that morning, with the stupid fluttering of your heart and the clamminess of your palms.
Or perhaps, it was that lunch together that she settled surprisingly showing up with foods enough for three mouths. It was when the salad's dressing got caught in the corner of your mouth, Billie being hypnotised under impulsiveness when she saw it, without thinking twice she scraped it with her thumb.
But maybe it was the 'accidental' touching of your knees under the table, the hand she laid on your thigh 'unknowingly' as she conversed with you, you thought it was on purpose but then what if that was just the way how Billie was – too handsy and always boring those flirtatious eyes.
There was a thin line separating your sane self and your reckless self and everytime you were within the presence of the woman everything in your life vanishes away including your own girlfriend.
Speaking of your girlfriend, the spark had drifted off for sure, staying in the relationship was like an obligation because of the promises you both made with each other. It was the only thing that was gluing it all together.
Sometimes you look at her then trying to consult your heart for anything at all to make sure the love stays – maybe weak but that was better than nothing, however, there was nothing but void a cold-epmty-botomless-pit. The heart that used to go crazy was long gone, you tried to be romantic with her in hopes that it was all you two needed to start another spark but what could you make out of the ashes of your burnt hearts?
No flame would be warm enough in a place so frozen.
The dismissal bell rung and all the children cheered packing up their belongings and some were placing back the colouring books they used in the free hour. One by one the children went home with their guardians, waving them goodbyes with your lips stretched to a smile. Another day had went perfectly.
The rusty sound of the swings caught your attention, looking on the side you saw the blonde boy entertaining himself on the swing. Why was he still here? Billie was never late, in fact she was always ahead of time sitting in the waiting area with her impatient ass, visibly eager to see her son and call it a day with ice cream and pizzas for dinner. How did you know? Nikkie was a chatter box, the boy couldn't shut up telling you and his friends about his 'awesome' dinner dates with her mother.
"Why the long face, sweetie?" Instead of taking the other swing which you figured wouldn't be enough to handle your weight, you leaned on the pole looking at the kid. He only shrugged.
The whole day, Nikkie was quiet. No one complained about his talkativeness nor bugged you during the free hour to borrow your phone and play. You only lent him once and that was the first day of school, he had no friends and he cried, panicking to make him stop you made the worst decision by offering your phone so he could play.
"Is mommy not yet here?" catching the sadness in his tone made your heart ache. His pouty pink lips and those doleful eyes warned you how vulnerable he was at the moment.
Crouching down on your knees, you took the boy's cheek. "Not yet but I'm sure she's on her way okay?"
"Don't let Andrew take me."
Your brows furrowed with a lopsided smile, "I won't. I promised your mom I won't and now I promise you that too." Nikkie jumped off the swing, throwing his little self at you and burying his face on the warmth of your neck, his curls tickling your skin.
