Maid Sama's Kanou: My Strange First Love

Chapter 36: Far Away from Kanou

***Tomoyo***P.O.V.

"What do you mean you are in love with two people? I know in fact that the one you are in love with is Kanou right?" Megumi says still looking shocked from what I said.

"I don't know, at first I was in love with Kanou, but now since Kazuma's come back I'm starting to have feelings for him." I state truthfully and she still gives me an are-you-serious look.

"Look Tomoyo, I'm not trying to say that you are lying here, it's just well, maybe you're fooling yourself into thinking that you still like Kazuma when you don't." Megumi says looking away as we walked.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused now.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is that once Kazuma returned you are trying to hold on to those feelings you felt for him back then and ignore the ones you have for Kanou right now."

"That's ridiculous, I mean so what you're saying is that I'm just ignoring all the real feelings I have for Kanou and using Kazuma to hide how I truly feel?" I asked Megumi not believing what she was saying. In response Megumi just nods her head yes and by that time we are at my house.

"Look Tomoyo, all I'm saying is that you should dig down deeper in yourself and decide who has your real and sincere feelings, not the fake ones." Megumi says as I headed inside. "Oh, and just so you know, I'm rooting for Kanou." Megumi adds before I walked inside my house.

Once inside, I plopped on the couch and my brother came out the kitchen and sat on the couch beside me. He turned and looked at me for a minute.

"What's bugging you sis?" Takashi asks me and I sigh. Kanou isn't the only one that knows when something is on my mind, I really didn't feel like explaining anything right now.

"I don't want to talk about it Takashi. I'm just going to head to my room." I say and I got up and go upstairs to my room. I guess you can say that I am just frustrated, frustrated at the fact that I have to make a decision between two people I love.

Suddenly the conversation with Megumi from earlier pops up into my mind. She said that I had fake feelings for someone. If that's the case, who is it that I have the fake feelings for and why doesn't it feel that way? Suddenly there was a knock at my door.

"Go away Takashi!" I say throwing a pillow at my bedroom door. My brain was starting to hurt from all this deep thinking.

"Fine, I'm leaving. I just came to tell you that there is this dude named Kazuma who is here to see you. You're welcome." He says, and I can hear his footsteps as he goes back down the stairs. I then force myself to get up and go downstairs to see Kazuma standing by our front door.

"Tomoyo, I'm so happy to see you." He says smiling, and I can feel myself beginning to blush from the memory of him saying that he loved me.

"Hey--Kazuma." I forced myself to say.

"I just wanted to let you know that my flight leaves for London tomorrow night. I need to know your decision before then." He explained. This is all so sudden, well not really, but still. It's bad enough I have to still decide between him and Kanou, now I have to decide if I'm going to leave or not.

"Um, can I let you know tomorrow after school?" I asked Kazuma not wanting to make a decision right now. Kazuma just stares at my eyes for a good long while before he finally decided to speak again.

"Well ok, but Tomoyo you really have to make up your mind. I can't wait for your answer forever." He stated and Kazuma waves before leaving.

I started to think more about what Kazuma had said. He was right, he can't wait on my answer forever. I have to decide.