Kissed by The Moon (HS)

Seven

Blood. That was the first thing that hit our senses as we neared the castle. Next was the sound of snarling wolves. Our carriage stopped abruptly as one thing became all too clear. The rouges were attacking. Dion and I got out, ready to fight. Our father was out and preparing to shift when he looked at me. "Not you. You're going to stay here." He said sternly, pointing his finger as me. "Father, I can fight! I'm Just as good as Dion!" I protested adamantly. Dion and I had trained together since we were pups. "I will not have both of my children at risk!" My father yelled as me, silencing any argument I was preparing. He came over and and hugged my tight. "As your Alpha, I order you to stay out of this. Stay here. Do not return until the fighting is over. No matter the outcome." I gasped at his order. He knew that i could never disobey and order from my Alpha. My wolf howled in outrage. "I'm sorry." was all he said before shifting and taking off for the castle. "Dion! Please make him change his mind! I can fight! you know I can!" I cried. Dion looked at me with a pained look. "I'm sorry Minnie. I agree with him. I can't lose my little sister." Dion said kissing my forehead and following father. I Screamed in frustration but it sounded a lot more like a growl. Nova was painfully clawing at my mind with how distressed she was. The pain was so intense that I gave in and shifted. 

My senses were much more intense as a wolf. I could clearly hear the growling and barking of my people fighting off the rogues. This attack was much larger then any others. I hated that I wasn't there. I paced back and forth, unable to get any closer because of the order from my father. If anything happened because I wasn't there...  The more I panicked the more I gave my self over to Nova. She would do what was best for us. I pulled back so that I was Just there. I wasn't in control but I was aware and could take it back if I needed. 

Suddenly the hold on the Alpha's command gave. Like a cord that was pulled too tight and finally snapped. There was only one Possible explanation for that. My Father had been Killed. Dion was now Alpha. I let out a pained howl and took off for the castle. All I could think about was my father. Panting I finally reached him. The Wolf that Killed him was still attacking him. I Ran and pushed him out of the way and stood over my father's body, and challenged the rogue wolf. I bared my teeth and growled. The wolf thought better of fighting a wolf that wasn't injured, and took off. I stayed where I stood. The battle raged around me as I stood over my father, daring anyone to try to come close. Even once the battle was done and we'd won, I didn't back down. All I could thin about was that this was my Father and I needed to Protect him. 

Dion approached slowly with his hands up in surrender. He'd shifted and gotten dressed to take care of the wounded. "Minnie. You need to give let us get father. He needs to be prepared. The people need to see their Alpha. You need to let him go." I snapped my teeth at Dion and looked down at my father's human form. "Please Minnie." He begged, and slowly I backed away before turning and running out of the castle. I ran into the forest on the pack's land, giving complete and utter control to Nova. 

*** 

Days have passed and I've not returned to the castle. My father's funeral was this morning and I watched from a far, not able to bear the pain of being there in person. Dion saw me watching. I could tell that he was putting on a brave face but he was just as sad as i was. I felt awful for not being there for him. But I couldn't. I was so upset with them both. If I'd been there, theres a chance that our father may have still been alive. Not that I blame Dion. But I can't forgive myself. deep down I know that there was nothing I could have done, but thats not how it feels. Pain.  That's all I feel. Pain and Shame for not being there to save my Alpha. Nova is also taking it personally. Her shame is almost as much as mine. or is it the same? Its hard to tell now whose emotions are whose. I've never shifted for this long. I know that it's not safe. That I run the risk of letting my wolf instincts take over, but the pain is too much to find the strength in me to shift back. 

***

Its been nearly two weeks. I can hardly tell myself from Nova at this point. The pain is numb, but i still can't find it in me to shift back. I spend my days hunting and watching the rogue lands. I've been contemplating going over and killing the wolf that slaughtered my father. But going over there alone would be the death of me before I even find the wolf responsible. I've been watching Dion as well, He's now officially the pack's Alpha. I know he can feel me watching him, everyone in a while we'll lock eyes and I'll have to look away. The pain in his eyes when he sees me is too much. I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to the castle knowing that I'd abandoned him when he needed me the most. I don't deserve to go back there. I don't deserve to be in this pack.