goodnight | junhao au

34.

Junhui's legs felt like jelly. The moment he ran around the corner, he dropped himself on the floor with his back against a wall. His tears kept flowing uncontrollable and his body started trembling.

Minghao kissed a girl.. right in front of Junhui..

Why was he even reacting like this?! Minghao wasn't even his boyfriend, he could do whatever he wants with who he wants.

But it still hurted him.. After Minghao told him he liked boys, and the times they slept together and fell asleep in each other's arms Junhui felt like there might be more between the two. For a moment it all felt so real.

But Minghao made clear there wasn't anything.. He didn't want Junhui. Because after all, he was too far away from popular.. Not only that, he was probably even still in love with someone else.

But why did he have to kiss a girl for that? That wasn't necessary at all! But of course, Junhui had to remind himself of the fact that Minghao was popular and he had a reputation to keep up and Junhui definitely wasn't a part of that.

"Junhui!"

Quickly his head shot up, seeing someone running towards him. But his sight got blocked because it was still too blurred with the tears that kept flowing out. He wiped away most of them, what didn't help because there were still tears coming out, but at least he could see the person running up to him.

It was Wonwoo.

As soon as his bestfriend dropped himself on the floor he pulled the sad guy in a hug. "It's okay.. it's okay.. shh."

The tears couldn't stop flowing out of his eyes, especially not now his bestfriend was there for him. "I-i'm never g-going to parties a-g..again.."

Wonwoo let out a deep chuckle, still not letting go from the hug. "It's okay Hui, don't worry we'll fix this."

"How can we fix this?! Minghao kissed a girl! And w-why am I reacting like this?! He isn't even my b-boyfriend."

Another pang in his heart was heard, and he felt like his world broke down even more. Saying it out loud made it even more official.. Minghao wasn't his boyfriend.. and tonight proved, he will never be.

"Junhui, Minghao likes you. You are his world. I don't understand either why he did this." Wonwoo said, reassuring. Junhui felt a little hope coming back in his body. Minghao.. likes me? But no, he couldn't believe that. Because after all, Minghao kissed someone else..

"Wonwoo is right, Minghao likes you Junhui." He looked up from Wonwoo's shoulder and saw Mingyu kneeling next to the two, reassuring patting Junhui's shoulder.

"Then why did he do this?!" Junhui suddenly shouted in anger, what immediately got followed by a huge sob. He felt in so much pain and there was no way he could keep his feelings under control. Everything that had been inside for too long came out at that moment. 

"I think you should let him explain that himself." Mingyu shortly said, what only made Junhui more sad. Mingyu knew what was going on? Did he also play a big role in it? What was Minghao even up to? Or that girl?

"J-Junhui?" A way too familiar voice said, and both Wonwoo and Mingyu backed away. Junhui immediately missed Wonwoo's protection and felt so vulnerable, right in front of Minghao.

The younger made his way towards the crying elder and keeled down next to him, bringing his face closer. "Why are you crying?" The scent of alcohol in his breath made Junhui's sobs come out even louder. He was drunk.. He broke his promise of not drinking..

"Minghao are you drunk?" He managed to get out. The younger pulled a face of confusion, as if he was thinking very deep. "Minghao!" Junhui yelled at him, shaking the younger out of his thoughts, but still not getting a reply.

"He's drunk.." Mingyu said. "Junhui please just bring him home and let him explain in the morning.. He doesn't know what he's doing right now."

And even though Junhui felt sad, weak and mad at the guy, he couldn't help but still feel so sorry for him. All he wanted to do was to take care of him. Especially after everything he knew about his past..

"I-I will.." Junhui nodded and got up, trying to wipe away the tears that kept flowing. "Minghao, come, were going home." He said coldly, not waiting for him and walking away, leaving Mingyu and Wonwoo behind.

"Juuuunnnn wait for me!" Even though Minghao stumbled over his own feet, he managed to keep on with Junhui.

Suddenly he felt Minghao's hand, connecting their hands together. And again, Junhui's tears got worse. Of course, all he wanted was to hold hands, feeling safe again, pretending like everything was alright. But it wasn't. It wasn't alright.

He yanked his hand back and walked on an even faster pace. "Minghao, don't." He tried to remain calm towards him.

"But.. I could hold your hand when we got there.."

"Not now Minghao."

They almost reached their apartment building and for once, Junhui thanked that they lived this close, because he couldn't stand to see Minghao any longer. It only broke his heart in more pieces. 

"Juuuuunnn can I tell you something?"

Junhui couldn't even look back at him and just kept walking at the same pace. "What?" He said in a harsh tone, trying to wipe away his tears aggressively again.

"I love you."

And at that moment Junhui totally snapped. Right in front of their apartment building, because he couldn't help the pain anymore.

"Minghao you don't!" He yelled. "You don't and you never will! You fucking kissed a girl at that party and now suddenly you love me?"

"B-but Ju-" "No Minghao. You can't love me. Your reputation is more important than I am, and I can't have that. You know what, I love you too. I fucking love you Minghao, but tomorrow when we wake up you won't remember a single thing that happened, because you broke your promise and got drunk, while you said you wouldn't. And then you disappeared to make out with someone else! If you loved me you wouldn't have done that! And-"

But before Junhui could continue another sob left his mouth and he totally broke. He yelled at Minghao.. And he won't even remember it, what might be for the best.

He turned around and walked inside the building, walking up the stairs with Minghao following him silently. When they reached their room, they got in and Junhui walked straight to his bedroom, not feeling like getting hurt any more. He was so done with it.

But before he could enter his bedroom, he got pulled back by his arm. When he turned around he saw Minghao, tears filling the corner of his eyes.

"Junnie.. please.."

"Minghao let go."

"Jun.."

"No-"  "-please.."

"Minghao I said no! Leave me alone!" He pulled back his arm and ran into his room, slamming the door in Minghao's face.

Leaving Minghao startled. The younger stared in front of him, mind foggy and his sight blurry because of the tears.

He couldn't really remember what was going on, everything seemed like a mess to him. But he knew one thing for sure, he messed things up..

And so he went to his bedroom, dropping himself on his bed and pulling his pillow to his chest.

Why am I sleeping alone? Where is Junhui?

And like old days, he started crying again. Just like Junhui, only two doors away..