♡ Oneshots ♡

Bowser's Kidnapping Spree

(Slight spoilers for FE: Awakening)

"I don't know what to do anymore!" Bowser groaned, flopping into his seat, "Those stupid plumbers somehow manage to beat me every time I kidnap Peach! Every damn time!" 

"Ah, that's rough buddy," King K. Rool sighed, "Have you tried obliterating them first?" 

"Yes!" Bowser groaned, "That was the time SHE came after me! I swear I've tried everything!"

"Even summoning an evil dragon?" Grima (in Robin's body) looked over. Bowser blinked. 

"Isn't that-?"

"Grima, not Robin," K. Rool explained. 

Ridley roared. 

"Where am I supposed to find an evil dragon God in our world?!" Bowser exclaimed. 

"Have you tried kidnapping someone else?" Ganondorf asked. 

"I kidnapped the sprixie princesses once. They teamed up on me…" 

"No I mean a different princess, come on we know hundreds of them," the king of evil lowered his book to look at the koopa king. 

"Why would I do that?" Bowser asked. 

"Because they're probably easier to kidnap?" He replied, raising an eyebrow. 

Bowser thought about it. 

"You might be right..  yeah! That's a good idea!" He grinned, jumping up, "Thanks Ganondorf!" He rushed to the door. 

"Don't kidnap Zelda!" Ganondorf called. 

Ridley roared. 

○○○

"You want to kidnap a different princess?" Junior asked, frowning, "But what about Mama Peach?" 

"Junior," Bowser knelt down to his son, "Every time we kidnap Peach, Mario and his brother come after us. I'm sorry, but I don't want you to keep getting hurt because of her. So we're going to try someone else, alright?" 

"...Okay," Junior sighed, "But only because the plumbers keep stomping me! I don't like getting stomped…" 

"You got it Junior," Bowser grinned, "Now, why don't you pick someone?" He held out the list he had. The list of female Smash characters, with Peach crossed out. 

"Hmm… her," Junior pointed to one of them. Bowser smiled.

"Alright." 

○○○

Samus Aran was his target. Preferably without her guns on her. 

He figured the zero suit would work. She didn't have a big gun then, right? That would be a good time to grab her. 

At least he thought so. 

Samus had just finished a training match. Against Marth to be exact. They were leaving the arena. Bowser followed. 

"You're pretty good with that sword," Samus commented. The hero king smiled. 

"Thank you, I've practiced for years. You aren't bad with that… uh…" he glanced at her gun. 

"Gun," she told him, laughing. He blushed slightly. 

"Apologies, I'm still not good at English, much less the names of things we don't have in my universe…" 

"Don't worry about it," the gun woman smiled, "See ya later!" 

"You as well," he nodded as they parted. Bowser took his chance.