Bi Polar Love(Axl Rose)

Decisions,Decisions

Axl and I have been arguing for weeks now. He wants me to abort the baby but I'm struggling.  No matter how it was conceived it was still a baby, a human.

I had gone to the doctor and it was confirmed.  I was 6 weeks pregnant.  Which did not help my cause at all. That really made it unclear who the father was. Axl and I had sex just before the rape. Oh, why?? 

I was constantly throwing up. Headaches, eating,not eating, not sleeping. It was a nightmare. Axl wanted the baby to be his. So did I.

But.....

There was no way to tell either. Sure, there was DNA testing but no way to test the baby until he or she was born. And, if Axl had his way it wouldn't be born.

This was causing a lot of issues between us. I was a wreck. Not knowing what to do or where to turn.

Axl wanted to just be rid of it. He told me we would make our own. But, I didn't want sex right now. I wasn't ready.

Could I really have an abortion?  Kill this innocent baby? It wasn't his or her fault How it came to be. There were thousands upon thousands of couples who would gladly take this baby.

But, could I really care for a baby conceived by rape? Would it's presence be a constant reminder? I don't know. I cried often and left work early everyday.

I was going to be flying to Paris soon for their fashion week. I needed to get away, needed some time to think.

Tonight, Paul and his wife Missy were coming to dinner. That would be good and take my mind off things.  I don't know....

* Axl's POV*

I am so furious could kill someone.  I don't get it. How could Harley even consider keeping this thing?? She calls it a baby. I do not.

I know in my heart of hearts it's not mine. I just know it. I do not want her keeping it. I will not raise a kid made by a rape.

I love Harley so much and seeing her in constant pain and sickness bothers me. I hate seeing her hurting.

She has a lot on her and my job,as her man, is to take care of her. I have been and will be. But....

I'm going on tour in two weeks. I haven't even told her yet. She will freak. It kills me to be away from her. And, knowing it will be a few months is agony.

We put the tour on hold until we replaced Steven. We found a great replacement.  Actually, Slash and Duff found him.

His name is Matt Sorum and he was with Blue Oyster Cult. He's great. Hell, he's better than Steven.

So, we're going to go. We have to. Normally,  I love being on the road and doing concerts. I feel so alive it's such an amazing high. But, not now. I can't bear the thought of Harley being alone.

She's scared to be alone and she has nightmares still.  And, Duff. I could kill him and shake his hand. He gave her those pills but I'm afraid she's becoming dependent.

I love this woman. She is my everything and the thought of being away from her kills me.

I just need time to convince her, to change her mind.

I felt like I had been kicked in the gut.

"You're going on tour now?" I croaked out.

"Honey, it's in two weeks and this one is only for 3 months than I'll be back."

Despite myself, I started to cry.

"I don't want you to go. I need you."

Since when did I become so pathetic?

Must be the pregnancy messing with my brain.

Axl held me close and stroked my hair. The sensation sent shivers down my spine. I love his touch and it had been a long time...

"Look, I have already made arrangements so you won't be alone. Missy will stay with you for a while, and Bella. Dino won't leave your side and your mom could come too."

I shook my head No.

He laughed.

"I figured you would say that. But, remember you will also be gone for some of the time too."

I sniffed.  It all made sense. But, none of these people would be him.

"Ok. I know you have to. Thank you for taking care of everything before you leave. I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed me.

"Hey, we have some time before Paul and Missy get here." I said and gave him a sly grin.

He looked surprised than happy. He shut our bedroom door.

A\N
Sorry this chapter was so short. I needed it to move things along.
Thank you for reading!!!
Hope you enjoy it.