*Book 2* The Mandala of The Sky *Completed*

Chapter 10 - Milly

Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

~Milly's POV~

Darkness.

That's the only thing I remember.

Cold, dark and scary.

Nothing is making any sense to me. I don't know who or what I am. Where am I? Why don't I remember anything?

I can't hear anything. I can't smell anything. I fell like my eyes are open but... I can't see anything either. Trying to move my body, but it's like I'm made of lead and at the same time made of nothing.

I tried to think, think of anything. Get a sense of who I am, where I am, anything. But all there was, was the dark, cold, empty void of nothingness. I could feel panic start to rise up within me. I tried to take a deep breath but that didn't work. I couldn't even breathe how I wanted to. I tried to move my body in some way but nothing was happening. I wanted to scream, cry, anything! But it was all to no avail.

I just was.

I wasn't me. I wasn't a person; I wasn't a thing anymore. I was just my conscience thoughts being aware that I was here but at the same time, I wasn't here. I knew that I was a person, that I had a life before... Whatever this is. But it was right on the tip of my tongue. Everything was right on the tip of my tongue and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't grab it.

Emotions kept swirling around me. Some, I had no idea what they were. There was a lot of pain, a lot of agony. There was a deep fire burning in my chest that made me feel both hatred and love. There was a bright feeling, that was lifting me high, making me feel like I was on clouds and there was also a deep irritating feeling creeping up the back of my neck.

No matter what feeling I had though, I never felt like I belonged here. I knew there was something I had to do, a purpose, a reason.

But I just didn't know what.

The longer I spent here, the more okay I became with it. It was still dark and cold but I was no longer scared. As time was passing on, the emotions and the feelings of being greater than just being, slowly went away. I had no idea who, where or what I was but I didn't care. This emptiness is who I am. This dark, cold void of nothing is me. I belong here.

This is where I'm meant to be.

My body didn't exist anymore. I was no longer breathing. I didn't feel the lead weight anymore, I was more of a cloud. Floating along not thinking, feeling or doing anything in particular. If I had to describe it in some way, I would say it was peaceful. The cold didn't bother me anymore. In fact, I knew the temperature hadn't changed I just didn't feel it anymore. I didn't feel anything and I never felt so free, so alive... So, me.

This feeling was liberating. I felt light. Not only in weight but in being. No matter what, I didn't want this to end. I wanted to be like this now and forever. Whatever or whoever I was before didn't matter. The only thing that did matter was this. It was like I was on my way to a new place; I could feel it slowly getting warmer.

I couldn't see, hear, smell or feel anything but I felt like I was going towards a warm light. Over time, I was starting to warm up and as I warmed up, I could start to feel my body again. It was almost like there was something in me trying to tell me something. Trying to get out and be free. Slowly, I was becoming more aware.

I was becoming me again.

Milly.

That voice sounded familiar. It made me feel warm.