Heartbeat (Lauren Jauregui)

Chapter 8

Olivia's POV

I can't believe Miss. Jauregui almost completely outed me to my mother. I'm so angry that my supposed friends told her about Ashley. I trusted them. Guess that was my mistake. Trusting people. It never pays to trust someone fully; they will always turn around and stab you in the back. I just thought the girls were different. I always end up getting hurt, no matter what I do.

My phone vibrates on my bedside table bringing me out of my trance.

Ally: Please don't be mad at us. We just wanted to help.
Liv: Why don't you all stay the fuck out of my life!

How dare she tell me not to be mad at her. They shared a secret that wasn't theirs to a person we barely know. We don't even know her first name. How do we know that she can be trusted with such an intimate detail about my life? An intimate detail that I wish would have stayed secret. I managed to have a whole relationship with Ashley without them finding out. Within days of Miss. Jauregui arriving my world almost crashed down around me. Because of her. Because of them.

Within minutes of me sending the text to Ally, she called me. I immediately pressed the red button ending her pathetic attempt to make up. She instantly called me back, but I shut that down just as quickly as I did the first time. Although, she called back. She can be so stubborn sometimes.

"What do you want Allyson?" I said harshly as I answered her call.

"Olivia. Don't full name me. We just wanted to apologise. It was wrong of us to mention it to Miss. Jauregui but we thought she would go easy on you if she knew the truth about your sudden outbursts.: Ally said, trying her hardest to calm me down before I said something I would soon regret.

"We are sorry!" I heard Mani call out followed by DJs apology. I sighed; I don't want to be mad at them, but they really crossed the line.

"Just give me some time to think." I said ending the call before they could say anything else. I threw my phone down beside me on my bed and let out a big sigh before getting up to make my way downstairs to my parents. I will need to talk to them eventually about what happened, I may as well get it over with. Just as I got to the top of the stairs, I heard my mother's voice.

"I'm telling you Luke, Olivia is gay! She is a massive disgrace to this family." My heart started to beat quickly. How am I going to get out of this one? My mum saw my reaction when the annoying teacher mentioned a girlfriend. I couldn't hide the fear I had, not from my mum.

"Linda, why don't we give her a chance to explain herself."

"No, she completely embarrassed me. I did not raise her to be like this. If she can't find herself a nice respectable man, I will find one for her."

"She said she was straight, so let's believe her and not a teacher you have just met. Even if she is gay that shouldn't matter to us. The only thing that matters is my baby's happiness and if a woman is giving her the happiness, she deserves then so be it." My dad's comment made me smile. Maybe I won't have to hide my true feelings around him.
"No Luke. I will not allow my daughter to go parading around embarrassing me and my family." I sighed and quickly walked into my room shutting my door gently so they wouldn't hear me. I quickly put my headphones in not wanting to hear anything else my mother had to say about me. I closed my eyes allowing sleep to overcome me.

My alarm went off bringing me out of my peaceful sleep. I groggily got up and walked into my bathroom. I had to go to school today, I have already missed yesterday, which messed up my perfect attendance record. I got myself ready before heading downstairs to greet my parents.

"Good Morning. Here is your breakfast." My mum said pleasantly, handing me a bowl of berries. I popped a blueberry in my mouth and smiled thanking her. I know she is faking how she really feels about me, but I am just doing to enjoy this while it lasts.

"Do you need a lift to school?" My dad asked looking up from his phone.

"Yes please." I responded finishing my breakfast. I couldn't be bothered to drive in today.

He stood up and walked to the door to get his shoes and coat on. I am hoping that he won't bring up what happened at school and what Miss. Jauregui said. I got ready to leave grabbing my bag shouting a quick goodbye to my mum. I closed the door and went to meet my father in his car.

We drove in silence until my dad spoke up, "Olivia, be honest with me. Are you gay?" I choked a little not expecting him to be so direct. I thought he might bounce around the subject a little so I could get a bit more confidence about the subject. My mind went back to his words last night, maybe he won't have an issue with me and my sexuality. I mean he was defending me last night not knowing that I could hear him.

"Yes." My answer is short and brief, I don't want to get into too much detail about this. The topic is still a little frightening for me. I know I have been in a relationship with a woman, but I have never said I am gay out loud. Those words will haunt me, the disgrace I felt when I realised that my body and mind could be lured in by a female. I feel trapped, not wanting to know why I had to be something so toxic that could ruin my relationship with my mother. Although, I hope that deep down I will come to terms with the fact that I am gay myself and get over my own internal homophobia.

"You don't have to worry. I won't tell your mother. This will stay between you and me. I hope one day you will be confident enough to bring home someone that you love deeply." His words made me feel a sudden urge of happiness. The rest of the car ride remained silent. We pulled up to the entrance of the school. I turned and looked at him smiling. He smiled back and gently wiped the tears from my cheeks, tears that I didn't realise had escaped my eyes.

"I love you no matter what." He said leaning over to kiss my forehead.

"I love you too dad." I responded, making him smile. I climbed out of the car shutting the door gently. Waving a quick goodbye to him I started to make my way to the entrance.