I'm sorry ~cade imagine~

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•this is lowkey real sad so get ready... also we're gonna pretend this is more modern so they had cell phones•

     you and everyone but pony and johnny were just hanging out at the Curtis house when you got a call.
"hold on, I gotta take this" you said standing up and answering the phone
"hello?" you asked
"is this y/f/n y/l/n?" the other line said
"yes, this is she" you spoke
"we have Johnathon cade here in the hospital, he's in critical condition, and we believe he may not make it much longer" the world slowly started blurring as you felt hot tears run down your face. you dropped to your knees and began to sob. the boys came up to you and tried to talk and ask questions but you couldn't speak. after what felt like an eternity, you finally managed to choke out
"it's Johnny... we need to go to the hospital."
"uh-uhm... okay, soda go start the truck" darry stuttered. soda rushed out and started it. they all had to stand you up because you were so flustered and you were still sobbing.

     on the way there, you calmed down a little, because you didn't want Johnny to see you cry.
"so, y/n, what's exactly going on?" Steve asked
"the nurse said he was in critical condition, and they don't know if... if..." you stuttered
"oh my God" darry said stepping on the pedal harder.

     you soon arrived to the hospital. you jumped out and ran faster than the entire gang into the building.
"Johnny cade, where is he?" you asked arriving to the desk out of breath
"are you fam-" she asked
"yes lady, now where the hell is he?!" you interrupted her
"room 194... over there" she said pointing to the left, the gang beginning to catch up to you by now. you ran into the room but stopped in your tracks when you saw a bruised, beat up Johnny, and a desolate pony.
"Pony..." you said running over to him wrapping your arms around his neck, beginning to cry.
"I'm sorry y/n... I'm so sorry" he mumbled into the crook of your neck
"what even happened?" you asked, the gang entering the room
"I was walking to the lot, and I saw him lying on the ground just off his porch in a pool of blood. there was a shattered beer bottle next to him. I didn't have time to run home. I just picked him up and ran" pony began to sob
"where was he stabbed?" you asked
"the torso, he lost a lot of blood" pony said. then the nurse walked in to check on his vitals.
"how is he?" dally stepped forward and asked
"he's still in critical condition, he's not getting much better" the nurse spoke softly
"damnit!" dally shouted
"Dal, calm down" darry said putting his hand on dallys shoulder.
"I can't calm down, man. Johnny's dying" he said jerking away from darrys touch
"don't say that!" I spoke
"why not y/n? that's what's happening!" he yelled
"shut up! alright?" you got in his face
"get out of my face, kid" he yelled looking down at you, because you were significantly shorter than him, or not. no hate to tall girls, we love y'all too. but anyways, dally looked at you.
"make me" you said through gritted teeth. you could see dally tense up. you were waiting for the slap, and you couldn't wait for it. all you wanted in that moment was pain. you wanted to feel what Johnny was feeling.
"dally, don't touch her" soda said
"be quiet soda, I wanna know what he's gonna do" you said getting closer to his face. you could see the anger in his eyes
"y/n" you heard Johnny whisper
"baby?" you said still looking at dally, then turning around to see him barely holding his eyes open. you rushed over to him and took his hand, and placed your other one on the side of his head.
"hey, doll" he choked
"hi, honey" you said trying to fight the tears. "how do you feel?"
"like I just got the shit beat outta me" he chuckled then winced in pain.
"you're gonna be okay baby, I know it" you spoke softly rubbing the side of his face with your thumb. you felt a tear slowly roll down your cheek. you tried wiping it away before Johnny saw.
"don't cry, princess. you're too beautiful for that" he whispered. "come closer" you gently bent down closer to his face, he slowly sat up a few inches and kissed your cheek.
"that might be the last time I get to do that" he whispered closing his eyes.
"no... don't say that. that's not true. we'll get you out of here. I promise baby" you said beginning to sob, knowing you might not be able to keep that promise. almost as if Johnny had read your mind he said
"you can't keep that promise, y/n"
"but I'm sure as hell gonna try"
"quit cryin'." he said "once I leave, I'll be fine. no more beatings, no more pain. I'll be happy y/n. I'll finally be happy with no worries."
"don't say that! you can be happy with me, Johnny. don't leave me!" you sobbed harder
"baby, please quit crying. I hate seeing you cry" he said trying to reach up but failed
"see, I can't even lift my hand to wipe your tears. I'm better off dead." he said "ponyboy wipe her tears away for me" ponyboy came over and wiped your face and pulled you in for a hug.
"we're gonna miss ya, Johnny" darry said
"I'm gonna miss y'all too, but don't worry. we'll see each other again one day." he said, oddly calm.
"how do you know?" I said pulling away from Pony.
"I saw god, y/n. he was with me today. he saved me from my dad. I know it was him. and he's bringing me home soon. and one day, you'll all be with me up there." he spoke
"nah man, dal's going to hell" twobit laughed. we all chuckled a little.
"you know what, fuck you Kieth" dally smirked
"we all know you would" soda blurted, making us all laugh some more.
"see, baby. you'll be fine without me" he said. I put my hand on his.
"you're not leaving me" I spoke sternly.
"I don't think I have a choice" he spoke softly. I could tell with each sentence he was growing weaker. thinking about losing him broke me to pieces.
"please, baby" I pleaded with tears streaming down my face "please don't leave me"

     this time he didn't respond. he just laid there, eyes closed, completely still. he didn't look dead though. he looked sick. very very sick.
"johnnycake?" pony whispered
"Johnny, man, you there?" dally said
"mmm" he hummed. I instantly felt the suspense release from my chest, but then it quickly came back when I realized he's still dying.
"Johnny?" I asked
"y/n, I need you to know s-something"
"yeah, baby?"
"I love you with my entire heart. always remember that. I will always be by your side. when I leave, you're gonna find a new guy, and he's gonna treat you better than I ever could. you're gonna fall in love all over again. and you're gonna be ten times happier. I will always be with you. I promise"
"baby, please don't go"
"I love you baby. I love all you guys." his speaking slowed during that sentence "I... love... all of.... you..."
his head sank back into the pillow, he was dead. the love of my life was dead. the monitor let out a long high pitched beep. his heart had stopped, and he was dead.
"no! no! baby! wake up!" you said shaking him "wake up!!!" you said punching your fists into his chest "you're not dead! no!" darry and twobit had to drag you off of him. you sobbed and sobbed into darrys arms. the nurses came and strolled Johnny's bed out of the room.

     as you began to finally calm down, you look up to see Johnny's parents standing at the door.
"what the hell do you want?" you said through gritted teeth
"w-we wanted to apologize... for everything" his mom slurred through obvious drunkness
"yeah? well what the hell is sorry gonna do now? Johnny's dead. and it's your fault! he hated you! all he wanted was to be loved by you! and you couldn't even give him that! you dirty bastards! now get out before I kick both of your asses!"
"you shut your mouth little girl!" his dad stepped up
"or what? what are you gonna do? kick my ass just like you kicked Johnny's every waking minute of his life?! because I don't think these six boys around me are gonna like that very much. they won't kick your ass, but they'll back me up while I do to make sure you don't lay a finger on me. do you know what that did to him? you broke him! he was scared shitless every single fucking day, and it was your fault! so what are you gonna do about, huh? you no good waste of space! I know you're not afraid to hit me! you hit her all the time! and you hit Johnny! this time you took it too far buddy! now, if I have to say it one more fucking time I'm gonna kill you, get. the fuck. out!" you screamed. they began to shuffle out staring at you. the gang was mesmerised by your words and actions.
"wow, y/n. you really would've, huh?" Steve choked
"they're gonna get what they deserve one a these days" you said through gritted teeth "and I sure as hell hope I'm there to watch"
"we all do" darry said, his arms still on my shoulder.
"y/n, you scared me" pony said
"I'm sorry pony, I just really hate them. and I want them dead"
"I know a guy" dally said surprisingly calm, even though the one thing he ever loved was ripped away. we all couldn't help but chuckle.

     the next few weeks were rough. but you all got through it together. you all knew Johnny was in a better place, and he was with y'all no matter where you were. sometimes, you could feel his presents. every now and then, you'd even hear his voice. you missed him like crazy, but once again, you all got through it together.

    ahhh!! that was sad!! I'm sorry!!! I realllyyyy enjoyed writing it, though. I cried a majority of the time. I hope you liked it!! also, I'm sorry it went from first person to second person pov. it's 3 in the morning and I really don't feel like going through it all and fixing it. love y'all!! stay gold and do it for Johnny bitches!

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