A Life Worth Living (Aizawa x OC)

4 - An Unexpected Proposal

After the incident with the nurse, Himari felt even worse than before. It had never been her intention to hurt someone, especially not a person who seemingly just wanted to help, someone who just wanted to get her out of the dark place she was in.

The rollercoaster of emotions she'd gone through over the course of the last week had undeniably taken a toll on her. The brunette was unable to shed more tears, feeling like she'd already drained her body entirely with her crying fits, and in addition to the drought that had stricken her tear glands, she was overwhelmed by a feeling of emotional exhaustion.

However, there was one crucial thing that had changed after the stressful and unfortunate encounter with the nurse. Her mind had left its empty and numb state. It wasn't entirely blank anymore.

Her thoughts, although they were still all over the place, had celebrated their comeback, and now, instead of absent-mindedly staring at the wall in front of her with blank eyes, she was overthinking...while she absent-mindedly stared at the wall in front of her.

Anyway. For her, it felt like progress.

After everything that had happened, she had a lot of things to mentally work through. There were painful thoughts and elusive memories to arrange and process, one of them being the only hardly believable fact that she'd been in a comatose state for almost eight months.

She desperately wanted to remain calm and collected to systematically work through her baggage, but her brain decided that it was better to replay the atrocious events of that night in an endless loop before her eyes.

It was like a morbid joke, a seemingly never-ending morbid joke.

Himari pressed her eyes shut, squeezing them tightly together in an unsuccessful attempt to eradicate the gruesome images but to no avail.

The events of that night had already been burned into her memory, as detailed as possible, not allowing her to catch a break from herself and everything she was trying so hard to forget.

She could remember everything, even though she longingly wished to delete these memories or to reset her brain to put an end to the self-torture she momentarily went through. Each time another replay ended her mental state worsened to a point at which she almost felt nauseous.

For 10 years she'd been active as pro-hero. She'd been Gravitas, and admittedly, she'd always loved her job. She'd loved the fact that she was able to help others, to be a protector, a shield, for those who couldn't defend themselves. All of that had been her motivation.

Being good in her job had equalled fewer problems for others. Even if her actions made someone's life only a tad bit easier, it had been worth the effort.

Himari Ishihara aka Gravitas had always given her all at everything she'd done, but right now, she was caged in a dark place. She started to question herself and her past.

Had all of the efforts she'd put into it been worth it? After all, she'd failed. Had Gravitas only been a role she'd played? A mask she'd put on in front of others? A fake personality she'd created to purchase her naïve childhood dream to be a hero? Could she even call herself a hero after everything...?

Jailed in her bleak room and alone, it didn't take her long to find the answer to all of these questions. The inevitable truth was that she was worthless, a worthless no one. A naïve girl who'd been convinced that she could actually do something against all the atrocities happening in the world, the injustice that seemed to lurk behind every corner.

She'd been called a hero all these years, but in the end, she couldn't even save the love of her life.

It had been her fault that he'd died a terrible death. Her fault, no one else's. She had killed Kaito. She had killed her husband.