26 - Memories

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Currently, I was standing in front of Chiyo's office door for already 5 minutes. My heart was beating out of my chest and my palms were extremely sweaty. I inhaled deeply and focused on the air flooding my lungs before I lifted my hand to knock on the door.

Without waiting for her to call me in, I just opened the door and entered like I always did. Chiyo was planted on her chair in front of her computer, not even sending a glance in my direction. Unfazed, she continued to wildly hammer on her keyboard.

"First, how often do I have to tell you to wait until I call you in? Second, what part of stay at home for the rest of the week and do nothing didn't you get in your thick head?" Chiyo stated dryly, still not bothering to turn around and face me.

Petty old woman.

Usually, I would counter her dry and sober remarks with an extra stupid comment, but at the moment I was too busy with my body's state of turmoil, which was caused by only thinking about the heart to heart talk I was about to have with the old woman in front of me. For once, I wasn't in the mood for sassy retorts.

My lack of an immediate reply caused Chiyo to eventually turn around on her office chair and face me. The second her eyes landed on my face, she furrowed her brows and a worried expression replaced her former light-hearted one.

Am I really that easy to read?

"Himari? Did something happen?" Chiyo asked softly while she folded her hands in her lap.

I averted my eyes to escape her pitiful gaze and took a second to step into the room, shutting the door behind me. As my hand grabbed the handle of the door, I realized that I was shaking like a leaf. I folded my hands and headed directly to the comfy armchair, in which I usually took place during our chit-chat sessions.

"Chiyo – can we talk?" I stated quieter than I had originally planned it. My hands immediately found their way to the ring dangling from my necklace and carefully enclosed it.

By now, I had gained her full attention. She nodded with that worried look plastered on her face and positioned her chair opposite of me, observing me with eagle eyes while doing so. "Naturally, Sweetheart. Is there something specific you want to talk about?"

"Maybe we can talk about...", I paused for a moment as I felt a shiver running down my spine and goosebumps forming all over my body. I was freezing. All the warmth had left my body in less than a minute. "That night. Can we talk about what happened with Kai?"

Chiyo's eyes widened and the surprise was written all over her face as she processed my words. "Himari, are you sure? Why now? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing in particular. I just thought that...maybe, it's time? Does that make any sense? I mean, maybe it helps? Didn't you say that?" I could understand that she was overwhelmed by my unexpected appearance mixed up with my ambition. During the last months, we had talked a lot about my emotions, about Kaito, our marriage, different memories of all kinds. Several times she had attempted to slowly direct our conversation towards the incident of the night I lost a part of me forever, but I had always successfully managed to dodge this conversation. Somewhere down the road, she had stopped trying because of the increasing number of failed attempts. She had accepted that I wasn't ready yet. And now, here I was – popping out of nowhere, wanting to talk about everything.

I should be grateful that she's bearing with me.

"You're right, I said that. Of course, we can talk if you think you're ready. Just give me a second to get your record." She rose from her chair and waddled back to the desk, where she opened one drawer after another until she eventually found what she was searching for. Chiyo grabbed a thick folder out of the bottom drawer and returned to her seat, carefully opening the folder in her lap.

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