"It was only a matter of time until you two found us, and at last you've made it. I'd like to welcome you, Doctor, Seer. Welcome to Torchwood" the women gestures to a massive warehouse area, with lots of crates, jeeps and trucks running around, and a flying saucer.
"That's a Jathar Sunglider" I say.
"Came down to Earth off the Shetland Islands ten years ago."
"What, did it crash?" The Doctor asks.
"No, we shot it down. It violated our airspace. Then we stripped it bare. The weapon that destroyed the Sycorax on Christmas Day? That was us. Now, if you'd like to come with me. The Torchwood Institute has a motto. If it's alien, it's ours. Anything that comes from the sky, we strip it down and we use it for the good of the British Empire."
"For the good of the what?" Jackie asks.
"The British Empire."
"There isn't a British Empire" Jackie says.
"Not yet. Ah, excuse me. Now, if you wouldn't mind" a soldier hands the women a very big gun "do you recognise this, Doctor? Seer?"
"That's a particle gun" I say.
"Good, isn't it? Took us eight years to get it to work."
"It's the twenty first century. You can't have particle guns" the Doctor says confused.
"We must defend our border against the alien. Thank you, Sebastian, isn't it?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Thank you, Sebastian. I think it's very important to know everyone by name. Torchwood is a very modern organisation. People skills. That's what it's all about these days. I'm a people person."
"Have you got anyone called Alonso?" I look at the Doctor and shake my head.
"No, I don't think so. Is that important?"
"No, I suppose not. What was your name?"
"Yvonne. Yvonne Hartman" the Doctor spots a black plastic step-stool with a handle on top and picks it up "ah, yes. Now, we're rather fond of these. The Magnaclamp. Found in a spaceship buried at the base of Mount Snowdon. Attach this to an object and it cancels the mass. I could use it to lift two tonnes of weight with a single hand. That's an imperial ton, by the way. Torchwood refuses to go metric."
"I could do with that to carry the shopping" Jackie says.
"All these devices are for Torchwood's benefit, not the general public's."
"So, what about these ghosts?" I ask.
"Ah yes, the ghosts. They're er what you might call a side effect."
"Of what?" The Doctor asks.
"All in good time. There is an itinerary, trust me" the TARDIS is driven past on the back of a truck.
"Oi! Where are you taking that?" Jackie asks.
"If it's alien, it's ours."
"You'll never get inside it" the Doctor says.
"Hmm! Et cetera" I spot Rose peeking out of the TARDIS and give her a small nod.
*Time skip*
"All those times we've been on Earth, we've never heard of you" the Doctor says.
"But of course not. You're the enemy. You're actually named in the Torchwood Foundation Charter of 1879 as an enemy of the Crown."
"1879. That was called Torchwood, that house in Scotland" I ask.
"That's right. Where you encountered Queen Victoria and the werewolf."
