Human AU, it's a texting oneshot based on the picture above but if you don't want spoilers then don't read it. There is hinted Prinxiety but it's brief. Also, they have been seeing each other and texting each other outside of the parts you see.
Seeing as it hasn't been long since the new episode I am going to not use Deceit's name as to not spoil it for anyone. Afterwards I will but for this oneshot I won't.
Basically the trigger warning is Remus, making fun of the story Adam and Eve, and crude language.
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September 1st 3:15pm
???: Is this Deceit
Deceit: call me de who are you
???: I'm Remus, Roman's twin
De: oh roman is that annoying kid from drama
De: how'd you get my number anyway
Remus: If I told you I would have to kill yoooouuuuu
De: um...
Remus: No matter
Remus: Anyway, you know Virgil
De: yeah, is he ok
Remus: For now. Are you fucking him
De: wat
Remus: I mean he's definitely a bottom
Remus: So are you fucking him
De: NO! he's like my best friend
Remus: Ok great, my brother would never have stopped whining if you'd said yes
De: bye weirdo
Remus: Love you toooo
Read
September 22nd 3:04am
Remus: Hey
Remus: Hey
Remus: De
Remus: Deeeeeeeeee
Remus: De-de
Remus: Snakey boi
De: what the fuck do you want
Remus: Thanks for helping my brother out by covering for him
De: um
Remus: When you said to Virgil that he was a nice guy and stuff
De: well i didn't say that really
Remus: Well whatever you said obviously helped Roman out
De: ok
De: why are you telling me this now
Remus: Because I am too busy to sleep
De: doing what
De: actually i don't want to know
Remus: Can I call you that
De: call me what
Remus: Snakey boi
De: NO! I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU SAY THAT AGAIN!
Remus: Noted
Snakey boi: what
Remus: Never to call you that
Remus: To your face
Snakey boi: DUDE!
Read
October 17th 4:37am
Trash Man: Deee
Snakey boi: i'm up like usual
Trash Man: Do you know how weird the story of Adam and Eve is
Trash Man: Like this random isolated guy is like there and then hears a voice from the sky
Trash Man: Has a women made from his rib then said women talks to a snake
Trash Man: The snake tells them to eat an apple and they do and then are kicked out of Eden
Trash Man: They were basically high for a day and then the drugs wore off
Snakey boi: i mean it is weird but
Snakey boi: it kind of sounds believable
Snakey boi: why are you even up this late
Trash Man: Not a fan of sleep but I also am working on projects. I'm trying to fix up this computer that I found in the dump. I also found some other stuff
Snakey boi: i don't want to know
Snakey boi: but actually
Snakey boi: i didn't know you could do that
Snakey boi: that's actually kind of cool
Trash Man: Kind Of
Snakey boi: hey you're lucky i didn't say one of my usual snide remarks
Trash Man: We all know you don't mean them
Snakey boi: yeah i do
Trash Man: I know you care
Snakey boi: i don't
Trash Man: You dooooo
Read
October 3oth 5:49pm
Snakey boi: you finished it right
Trash Man: Oh My Jeffrey Dahmer! You texted first! and yes I did
Snakey boi: shut up
Snakey boi: but i'm glad you did
Snakey boi: v would be pissed if you didn't have a costume
Trash Man: I know I know
Snakey boi: what time will you be there
Trash Man: You could've asked me this on our way to school tomorrow. Damn you figured out that I was going to murder you tonight.
Trash Man: probably 5 though
Snakey boi: thanks
Trash Man: My mum's calling
Snakey boi: you better go see what she wants
Trash Man: I prefer talking to you
Snakey boi: don't go to your mum
Snakey boi: it's not like i'll be here when you get back or anything
Trash Man: Byyyyeeeee
Snakey boi: bye weirdo
Read
December 8th 2:46am
Trash Man: Feelings suuuck
Snakey boi: you sound like logan
Snakey boi: and why are you talking to me about it
Trash Man: You're the only person who will listen
Snakey boi: alright
Tash Man: So like I think I have a crush on this person and they are really close to me and cool and really nice
Snakey boi: oh um... do i know them
Trash Man: Yeah but I don't know what to do
Snakey boi: i don't know remus
Snakey boi: i have to go...
Trash Man: oh bye then and don't forget your hat so that we can use it for Patton's Secret Santa
Read
February 19th 3:12pm
Trash Man: Why did you leave like you'd seen a murder weapon
My snakey boi: sorry
My snakey boi: I saw my ex and panicked
Trash Man: Do I need to hang him by his intestines
My snakey boi: no it just would have been awkward
Trash Man: He never hurt you right
My snakey boi: no
My snakey boi: we just weren't emotionally available for each other
Trash Man: I'm to dumb to understand those big words
My snakey boi: you know how i talk to you when you can't sleep
My snakey boi: i wouldn't do that with him
My snakey boi: and he wouldn't ask me if i'm ok like you just did
Trash Man: You weren't ready for each other
My snakey boi: something like that
My snakey boi: i'm not sad about it though
Trash Man: You sure
My snakey boi: yeah because if i was still together with him
My snakey boi: then we probably wouldn't be so close
Trash Man: I would have killed so many people if you didn't stop me
My snakey boi: me stopping you is a good thing
Read
March 4th 7:11pm
My Rat: De
My Rat: I am going to climb through your bedroom window
My Rat: I need to tell you something important
My Rat: And you can't judge me
Snake crush: SHIT! PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE OK
Snake crush: NO ONE HAS BEEN MURDERED RIGHT
My Rat: No idiot I wouldn't be worried about that. I am climbing up the gutter be there in a sec
Snake crush: opening the window
Snake crush: thanks for scaring me weirdo
Read
March 31st 9:52pm
Idiot💚: Baaabbbbeeeee
Mine💛: yeah
Idiot💚: You left a Furby in your box of stuff
Mine💛: my bad probably just chucked it in there from years ago
Idiot💚: Do you care if I take the skin off
the Furby
Idiot💚: I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh he can begin the path toward enlightenment. He will take care of Us
Idiot💚: Also I want to softhack his circuits
Mine💛: i literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again
Idiot💚: I've said worse
Mine💛: not when sleep deprived
Mine💛: when sleep deprived you truly mean the things you say
Mine💛: you have been spending too many nights rewiring stuff in that box
Idiot💚: Nah I'm good
Mine💛: you better be over in 5 minutes
Idiot💚: On my way
Read
April 24th 10:35am
Mine💛: something came for you in the mail
Idiot💚: It's probably the parts for my new project
Mine💛: not gonna ask
Mine💛: you're coming to the movie night right
Idiot💚: Yes yes. Do you want me to pick you up
Mine💛: that would be great thanks babe
Idiot💚: No problem I don't want you on the road where other boys can see you
Mine💛: Reee you know I would never leave you, right?
Idiot💚: Wow you even had a capital letter
Mine💛: I'm being serious
Idiot💚: I'm messing with you I'm just protective. I better go see you at 6
Mine💛: yeah bye
Read
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I am ever so sorry if I have offended anyone about the comments on religion that Remus expressed. I personally am not religious but I respect anyone who is. It was all in jest and I felt it was a comment Remus would make so I hope I didn't hurt anyone.
Please comment suggestions, corrections or just how your feeling at the moment as it would be lovely to hear from you. I know these times are hard for all of us so if you just need to vent the comments are open and so is my private message.
I hope you enjoyed this. Stay safe everyone.
-SiD
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Sanders Sides Oneshots
FanfictionIt's in the name. These are probably badly written with cliche plot lines but you might enjoy them and I do take requests. Some will be angst, some fluff. I will do my best to include proper trigger warnings and I hope you are entertained by these s...
