Heartbeats || H.S. [ONGOING]

{two}

There she was, age twenty-four, with the world at her fingertips. She just graduated from NYU, she had an amazing man in love with her, she was interning at an ad agency in New York City — she had it all. But what she also had was a constant aching from the wounded organ in her chest — her heart.

She was once in love — she couldn't say she wasn't still in love, actually. She still felt him. She didn't think that would ever go away. But things with them would never work out anyway. Nothing that started with lies and deception could ever really flourish.

She and Harry were never truly supposed to be together. He had a wife, he had kids — but that summer, he also had her. And they fell in love. But it wasn't the right time for them.

Harry and Julia started their messy divorce that fall and she drug it out for a year, trying to squeeze everything she could out of him. Niko still didn't know to this day if Julia ever found out about the affair, but she had heard that Harry won full custody of his children — Jackson and Avery. Louis told her.

Louis was the closest thing Niko had to Harry, but she only spoke to him on occasion. Whenever he was in New York, he made it a habit to see her — even if he was with his wife, Elizabeth.

Liz and Niko got along great and the two of them would always take Niko out when they were around. She never told them about Max. She never wanted it to get back to Harry that she started seeing someone else. It would just be another heartbreak added to his long list.

Niko met Max at a New Year's party just that past year. The first thing she noticed about him was how his eyes were the same shape as Harry's — but Max's eye color was more the hue of honey, rather than Harry's marble green eyes.

She was well aware how messed up it was. How could a healthy relationship start when she was constantly comparing Max to Harry? She knew she was going about it the wrong way. She just needed to feel something other than despair and heartbreak.

Niko and Max started off as lovers and nothing more, but over time Max wanted more. She wasn't sure if she was ready to give him more, but by February, she knew something had to change — that she was slowly losing herself to her depression.

And for a while Max lifted her up. She never forgot about Harry, but she could spend time with Max and forget about him — if only for a moment.

Max was twenty-seven and beginning his first year as a partner in a law firm in downtown Manhattan. It was an amazing step for him, and Niko was incredibly proud of him. But it meant he would be very busy with work, leaving her alone more often than not — thinking of things she no longer should be thinking about.

By June, two years after she met Harry, Niko decided to write one last therapeutic letter to Harry, and then she would be done. Five months of only giving part of herself to Max was unfair to him and she was going to start over — give him everything she could, because he deserved it. Because he was a good man.

And she knew the next step in her recovery was to finally tell Max about Harry.

...

Niko took a run to clear her head. She knew that night she would need to tell Max about her former love and she was scared shitless. She knew it had to happen in order for her to move on, but she was nervous. She was nervous about how Max would react to hearing such news — that he had to share her with memories of a man who was never hers to begin with. And she was also nervous to be putting Harry behind her. In all honesty, she didn't know if she actually could.

Her heart was heavy as she jogged around the park. It was a beautiful day — sun shining, birds chirping, children at play. But she was drowning. She sat down on a park bench to take a breath, to stop her panic attack before it started. Harry's face was in the forefront of every thought and she knew her heart was breaking all over again.

"I think I know you," Niko heard a child's voice from somewhere next to her.

It broke her quickly out of her panic attack. Her head was spinning as she looked around to find the voice. She could have sworn her eyes were deceiving her — it couldn't be...

"Jackson..." Niko gasped, looking into a pair of green eyes that were so much like his father's.

"I'm Jackson," he said, nodding and smiling at her.

He was older — two years older, but he was still the same kid. He was still the spitting image of his father. Niko's breathing caught in her chest as the tears welled in her eyes. Was he really standing there, or was he an illusion her mind made up?

"I do know you, don't I?" He asked, heightening an eyebrow.

"Jackson, you shouldn't talk to strangers," Niko breathed lowly, feeling so incredibly emotional as she looked at him.

"But you're not a stranger. I know you and you know me. You knew my name," he pointed out, looking at her curiously.

"We... we do know each other, but it's been a long time," Niko said as a tear streaked down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

"Why are you crying?" He asked, his brows furrowing in concern.

"Because I missed you," she said with a smile.

"What's your name? Maybe it will help me remember you," he asked with an inquisitive look on his face.

"Niko. I'm Niko, Jackson," she said, smiling as she wiped her tears.

"Niko!" He exclaimed and threw his arms around her quickly. She hugged him back tightly, missing the hell out of that kid.

"You remember me now?" She laughed as he pulled back to look at her again.

"I do! You said we'd see each other again. 'Friends forever'," he said, standing in front of her with a wide smile on his face.

"'Friends forever'," Niko giggled, so happy that he was standing in front of her and he remembered something that was so important to both of them.

"Who are you here with, buddy?" She asked, looking around. He had to be there with an adult — he was only nine.

"My mom and dad," he said, pointing across the way. Niko's heart squeezed tightly thinking about seeing Harry again.

Her line of vision found Harry and Julia sitting on a park bench on the other side of the playground talking to one another. Niko's heart dropped. Why were they together? She thought they were divorced.

A moment later, Harry stood up from the bench, but Julia stayed seated. Niko watched as he called Avery to him — her ringlet chocolate curls bouncing as she ran to him. Niko couldn't help but smile. She was seven now and looked so grown up from the last time she saw her — so beautiful. Avery jumped into her dad's arms and he hugged her to him, kissing her on the cheek several times.

When Harry set Avery down, his eyes darted around, looking for Jackson — she was sure of it. Panic immediately filled her. As much as she wanted to see Harry again, she was absolutely terrified.

"You should go back to your parents," Niko told the boy, fearful that she would be seen.

"But they will want to see you. We all miss you, Niko," he protested, sending her an odd look.

Niko looked up to see Harry staring in their direction. He looked frozen — in complete shock. Niko froze too, her eyes staring back into his.

Harry couldn't believe his eyes. Was that really her? Was that really Niko? Two years was a long time, but he was sure he would recognize her anywhere. And now, with her standing in his eyesight, he knew he always would.

"Dad! Dad, come here!" Jackson said excitedly, waving Harry over.

Harry's eyes left Niko's, only to look at his son. And with that, his feet began bringing him closer and closer to them. Niko couldn't breathe, she couldn't think. She stood up from the park bench as Harry approached, her fight or flight instinct failing her.

"Niko..." He whispered. Her heart flourished at the sound of his voice, but she could barely breathe.