Joan Undone

Chapter 10

Aft and Leo continue to argue late into the night, and eventually, even I can't listen any longer. Justus, Harriet, Mason, and I make eye contact and retreat from the table together.

It's too much effort to return to the dorm, so most of us shower and prepare to crash on the beds in the Bunker.

"Are you okay?" Justus asks after I'm done brushing my teeth.

My irritation flares, my temper barely leashed after the emotional rollercoaster of the day. "Don't be stupid."

"You have to listen to my dad, to give him a chance."

"Give it a rest!"

"I know you're hurting, but we need to strategize now, figure out our response to Crew's attack on the police station before the backlash from the media and the public overwhelms us."

He's right, but there are limits to what I can take, and I've reached it. If he doesn't leave, he's going to see me cry.

"Go."

Justus's face softens, and he squeezes my shoulder. "Okay, Joan. Sorry."

He takes a step closer to me, but I turn away and climb into the lower bed of one of the bunks. He sighs, and then quietly leaves the room, flicking off the lights on his way out. I wait until the breathing of those around me slows into sleep before quietly releasing my own tears for Ken and the dozens of others who were murdered tonight.

Someone slides into bed behind me and wraps his arm around me tightly.

"I feel it, too," Nic says, his voice rough. "The helplessness. I'd rather feel anything else. And to think there was a time that I thought Crew's way was the only way... Maybe that makes me a monster too."

I sob harder. "How could he kill so many people? When will it stop? Were we stupid to think we could ever take him on?"

Nic squeezes me tighter, and after a while, my tears are spent. With his reassuring warmth at my back, I begin to drift to sleep.

The lights of the Bunker turn on, eliciting groans from everyone trying to rest.

"Joan Marie Fasces!" my mother's voice thunders, and I sit up so fast that I bang my head on the bunk above mine.

Mom yanks off the sheet covering me and a bemused Nic.

"Who the hell is this?" my dad roars.

My eyes adjust to the sudden brightness, and I see my parents' faces above me. Addie hovers by the door. I leap out of bed, into my mom's arms.

Her anger melts away at my touch, and she clutches me close. "I've never been so scared in my entire life."

"I texted Addie," I reply, pulling my parents into the next room so my friends can go back to sleep.

The main room of the Bunker is empty now, with the exception of Leo, who is going through files on one of our tablets.

"You said that you survived! That's all!" my dad exclaims. "You could have been hurt, in the hospital, bleeding in a gutter!"

"Don't be so dramatic," I say, collapsing into a chair.

Addie towers over me. "You will listen to your parents. They are right to be angry, to be frightened. We know your nature, and that where trouble is found, you will be at the heart of it."

She's got me there.

Mom kneels in front of me and takes my hands. "I know you'd never promise to stay away from danger, but please, Joan, keep us informed of your safety. We can't live like this."