Don't feckin' joke

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It was the first snow of the season and the Quidditch game had just ended. Hufflepuff had lost to Ravenclaw. Ophelia lay in the middle of the field next to Primrose as they watched the snow fall from the sky.

"This is truly the best time of the year." Said Ophelia, as each flake hit her skin.

"Yeah. I love losing. Really brings be back down to Earth." Said Primrose sarcastically.

"Rosie, you can't win them all." Said Ophelia, "and now look at you, this is a very cinematic scene we are creating, isn't that worth something?"

"I guess, can we at least act like Dorothy in that movie you talk about?" Asked Primrose.

"Clearly I don't talk about it enough if you don't know the name of the wizard of Oz." Said Ophelia, in mock offence.

"Oh Ophelia, this is the wizarding world, a name like that is easy to forget." Said Primrose, nudging her foot.

"I guess." Said Ophelia, frowning.

"You're going home for Christmas, right?" Asked Primrose, rolling onto her stomach to play with the grass.

"Yeah, I'm excited dad says that he has decided to deep fry the turkey." Said Ophelia. "I'm not sure whether to be alarmed of excited."

"I'm staying here." Said Primrose glumly,

"What why?" Asked Ophelia, rolling on to her stomach.

"My aunt is coming and she is a supreme pain in the ass why do you even bother trying to talk to her bitch." Said Primrose, shaking her head at the thought of the woman.

"Do you want me to kill her for you?" Asked Ophelia in mock seriousness. Primrose cracked a smile.

"No, she's still family."

"I could make it look like a suicide." Said Ophelia her honey eyes opened wide.

Primrose looked thoughtful for a moment then shook her head. "She has kids." Muttered Primrose.

"Damn the next generation." Said Ophelia. "Maybe I can see if you can come to mine for Christmas."

"You don't have to-"

"Do you not want a first hand experience with a fried Turkey?" Asked Ophelia, "Because honestly I don't think we can be friends if the answer is no."

"Fine, you can ask." Said Primrose, sighing as though she were doing Ophelia a great favour. "Alastor is also asking his parents, so you know I have a better chance of not staying in the castle." She said quickly.

Ophelia scowled. "I feel so special now." Said Ophelia sarcastically. "But seriously, wow you guys are really getting serious."

"Yeah, meeting the parents. I'm so excited." Said Primrose, nervously wringing her hands. "But honestly its better than being alone in the castle with Riddle."

"He doesn't go home for the Holidays?" Asked Ophelia.

"He is never on the train. Unless he's flooing home which is highly unlikely. No, no don't get that look." Said Primrose, as Ophelia's expression shifted to one of Empathy, "this does not justify all the bad things he's done, don't say you're going to send him a-"

"I'm going to send him a present." Said Ophelia resolutely and Primrose let out an exasperated sigh. "Then we can bond and be best friends and I can get over the betrayal of being your second choice."

"Is that so?" Asked Primrose shoving her arm slightly.

"Yeah," said Ophelia, "and you know what you're getting?"

"Nothing?"

"No I already bought your present and I think you are really going to like it. You aren't getting a card." Said Ophelia, her honey eyes narrow, and Primrose acted like she had been shot through the heart, rolling onto her back and gasping for air.

"Is this what death feels like?" She called out in a scratchy voice.

"You are really getting better at that." Said Ophelia, admiring her performance.

Primrose popped up like a daisy and took a bow, "I've been working on it." She said, as she helped Ophelia to her feet.

"You can really tell, and the gasping for air?" She said,

"I know."

"Bri. Li. Ant." Said Ophelia, looping her arm through Primroses. "Even though we lost, do you think Macmillan is still dancing on the table?"

"I would say fifty fifty chance." Said Primrose, "Do we really want to see that?"

"Yeah, lets take the long way to the common room." Said Ophelia.

"Shame that Nott is still in the hospital wing." Said Primrose.

"It's the weirdest thing, whenever I am about to visit him a Slytherin pops up and sends me in the other direction." Said Ophelia.

"Maybe it's Riddle." Said Primrose, shrugging.

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe he doesn't want one of us Puffs fraternizing with his friend group." Said Primrose, rolling her eyes.

"I wasn't even going to consider fraternizing until the tenth date." Said Ophelia, causing Primrose to giggle,

"Please tell me what you mean by fraternizing?" She said dumbly.

"I don't know like a step past snogging." Said Ophelia. "Who does he think he is."

"Theodore Nott? I think he thinks he is the cutest Slytherin Beater." Said Primrose, smiling as Ophelia rolled her eyes.

"First of all, he is the cutest person on the Slytherin Quidditch team, and second I meant the little shit we know as Tom Riddle." Said Ophelia.

"Maybe he likes you." Said Primrose bracing for a physical blow but none came.

"He did call me aesthetically appealing. I think that's Riddlish for pretty." Said Ophelia, and Primrose looked like she was going to double over in laughter.

"Aesthetically appealing?" She laughed, "I would try to stay away from him then, you know he may call you conversationally committed."

This time she hit her. "Don't fucking joke. I don't want him to take a personal interest in me. You've seen his friends like little chickens."

"Maybe you can take Nott to the Slughorn dinner on Thursday, he's sure to be out of the hospital wing at that point." Said Primrose, "Then Riddle will move onto the next pretty thing to walk past."

"Don't you mean aesthetically appealing ." She mimicked his accent and Primrose hit her.

"Don't feckin' joke." She mimicked. It was hard not to mimic her sometimes, her Irish accent was beautiful yes but intensified when she felt strong emotion. To the point of comedy.

"I don't sound like that!"

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