Oh, Ophelia | Tom Riddle

A blur

"I can feel like all the molecules in my body," said Ophelia as she lay on the floor next to Jason,

"How many teeth do I have?" He asked,

"Like a hundred," she said, and then they laughed, "Look at this ring, I so like my last one better,"

"How much did you sell it for?"

"One point five million Galleons." Said Ophelia, "it's all in my special personal safe, my uncle told me that you should never trust banks. Because banks get robbed."

"Was he a banker?"

"He was a robber. He's in prison right now, but he learnt to crochet." Said Ophelia,"Sent me a scarf for Christmas."

"I love your family," said Jason, "Lolita is flying high,"

"It's like Spanish is just Italian plus French minus English." Said Lolita and they all broke out laughing,

"That's so true."

"When is the wedding?" Asked Jason,

"So hot for each other married within five weeks. A real whirlwind romance. Whirlwinds are so funny." Said Ophelia, "I'm proud of him. He's put a whole album out."

"Wow, can't wait to watch him fall apart once you leave him." Said Jason, "Carl hasn't been doing great."

"I feel terrible. Even Grindelwald noticed it. He won't let me take an unbreakable vow because he knows caput, I'd just off myself." She said,

"What are you gonna do when he's gone?" Asked Jason,

"So much therapy," said Lolita,

"Oh yeah I'm gonna get my head shrinked or shrinkied, or shrunken, ha that's a silly word." Said Ophelia, "Then maybe I die."

"You aren't allowed to do that," said Jason pulling on her arm like they were children again,

"Hey whatever happened to Ricky?" Asked Ophelia, "I was just thinking about lions you know? Roar, also what do their lion's maines look like when they get rained on?"

"He died in Albania, no one knows who did it." Said Jason, "I bet it was the illuminati, or the government, wait, guys the government IS the illumintati, nani? Fami? Illumitini, Illy uni tati. Ha got it."

The words barely registered to Ophelia as she thought about how funny goats were.

"Ten bucks on Tommy Boy," said Lolita, "I can see a butterfly,"

"Yeah, you're done," said Jason, "Lia, please don't kill yourself."

"Sure." Said Ophelia, taking another drag of the blunt, "Hey guys? How do dragons blow out candles?"

"Dude."

"Good question."

"But like in what scenario wood a dragon need to blow out a candle?" Asked Lolita,

"Birthday party, Lili," Said Ophelia,

"You're Lili, I'm Lita,"

"I thought I was high."

"As a kite." Said Jason playing with her hair,

"That really depends on the kite you know." Said Ophelia, "We're lying on the ground so like does that mean the world is our backpack and we are carrying it through space?"

"You're getting married for the second time in like a year." Said Jason, 

"I work fast, my guy." Said Ophelia, "It's all about the fantasy. I wish someone would fantasise about an aussie, I've been working so hard on my accent. I am hungry."