Oh, Ophelia | Tom Riddle

Huh? Wha?

Primrose was crying. Her head was on Ophelia's lap as the tears streamed down her face. Ophelia stroked her hair gently,

"I can't believe he cheated on me." She said, "I really thought we were in love."

They were in their shared dormitory, and there were only three days left of school. Alastor had been found cheating on Primrose and it took everything within Ophelia not to gut him. He would pay. At least his hair would fall out, she slipped the hair remover in his shampoo that morning.

"I know, I know, Rosie but just think about it this way, you are one heartbreak closer to the love of your life." Said Ophelia, "Do you want me to humiliate him for you?"

"I already spread," she sniffles, "a rumour that he had a tiny dick."

"Good for you." Said Ophelia as she continued to stroke Primrose's hair gently, "I hope he never lives that rumour down, where did he get a job next year?"

"I already told my cousin who works in the ministry, they all think he has a micropenis." Said Primrose beginning to laugh a bit.

Ophelia laughed with her, "I'm still going to yell at him a bit, is that okay?"

"Yeah, you already put the hair remover in the shampoo too though right?"

"You know it."

—

"Clover!" Yelled Ophelia as she walked down to the Quidditch pitch where the players from all the teams flying for the final time that year. "Get your ass to the ground, now."

Alastor looked at her then looked away flying upwards away from the ground,

"IMMOBULUS!" His broom stopped mid air and he was suspended, she dropped the spell for a moment only to cry out her next one, "LEVICORPUS!"

His foot was yanked up in the air and he dangled as she brought him closer to the ground.

"Ophelia, I didn't do anything to you." He muttered.

"Fuck you, how are you even a Hufflepuff? I know you have a little dick but there's no need to compensate." She said and several other Quidditch players laughed as they went to the ground to watch.

"I don't have a little dick." He said angrily, still dangling, all the blood rushing to his face. Ricky McKenna swooped down and stood next to Ophelia.

"I can confirm that he has a little dick, saw it in the change room, wish I hadn't." Said Ricky and Ophelia smiled at him.

"Now, Alastor darling, do you ever even think?" Asked Ophelia getting closer to his dangling body, "are you simply thick? Nothing in your head?" She smacked his forehead with the palm of her hand. "Nope not hollow, surprisingly, now why did you cheat on Primrose?"

"Why aren't you mad at Bernadette?" He asked, referring to the girl he'd slept with.

"She's not the one who cheated, dumbass, you are." She said, and Henry walked over.

"You cheated on Primrose with Bernadette?" He questioned, "Major downgrade. Honestly are you thick? Let me double check for my sister." Henry landed a smack on his forehead, "not hollow." He said as though perplexed.

"Surprising right? You know he has a tiny prick?"

"Oh yeah, it's the talk of the town. I heard it from Prewett." Said Henry glaring at Alastor.

The Hufflepuff team who were Primrose's biggest fans (other than Ophelia of course) were now surrounding him.

"You cheated on Primrose?" Said Macmillan scowling at Alastor still dangling in the air. "You're off the roster for the official Hufflepuff Quidditch team plaque."