Sam and Colby: The Penitentiary

16

"Welcome home, lovebirds," Jake said as Colby and I walked into the kitchen.

                "Hush," I said.

                "So, are you guys, like...," Tara trailed off.

                "Like...?" asked Colby.

                "You know. All good again," she continued.

                "I don't know, you think we're all good again, babe?" Colby asked, looking down at me.

                "I'd say so, yes," I replied with a smile.

                "Oh, god. Here we go with the cutest couple ever shit," Tara said.

                "Okay, come on cranky. It's bedtime," Jake said, picking Tara up and carrying her toward the stairs. "Night, guys."

                "Night," Colby and I replied in unison.

                "So," I said, hopping up to sit on the counter.

                "So," Colby replied. I suddenly realized I'd never apologized to him for what I did.

                "Can I say something? I don't expect you to say anything back at all, but I can't just not say this," I said.

                "Of course, anything," Colby said.

                "I... I shouldn't have done what I did. I shouldn't have left like that. It was fucked. I left all of you in the dark for literal months. You didn't know if my dad was okay, you didn't know if I was okay. You literally thought you would never see me again and that had to hurt like a bitch. I'm really sorry for all of that.

                "That being said, I'm not sorry for saying no to what you asked. I wasn't ready for that then and I'm not ready for it now. I don't want you to in any way think that that means I don't still want you or that I don't still love you just as much as I did before you asked. Like I said, I do plan on spending forever with you. But life is... well, it's life. Things change a lot and I don't want to jump into something so fast, I guess. It was only one year today. And I guess it's a little unfair of me to just assume you should be on the same page with this stuff as I am. Not to be a dick, but I'm a little more experienced in the whole being in a relationship thing than you are.

                "Everyone is different, though. I really love you, Colby. And I seriously always will, even if for some reason down the road we end up not being together anymore. You're my family, just like everyone else here. You're also my best friend, and to the best of my knowledge you're the love of my life. So from the bottom of my heart and with full sincerity, I am sorry for leaving you. No one deserves to be left like that. No one. Especially not you, and certainly not by me.

                "I love you so, so much. And I know I've said that like a billion times. If there were words stronger than that, I'd be using them. But for now, those words will have to do. I'm incredibly lucky you still want me, incredibly lucky that you waited for me instead of just moving on. So thank you," I said, finally letting all of those words out, getting those feelings and thoughts off my chest.

                Colby just looked at me for a second. I couldn't really decipher the look on his face, wasn't able to guess what he was thinking. He walked over and hopped up onto the counter next to me. I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder, his arm instinctively wrapping itself around my waist.

                "I've already given you my little 'I'm sorry I fucked up' speech and I'm sure you don't want to hear that again. But I guess there was one upside to you leaving like that," he said.

                "And what was that?" I asked.

                "I learned how important you really are to me. It's like that saying, you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Ever since you've come back, I've learned to appreciate your smile a little more and listen to your laugh a little longer. I took the stupidest things for granted, like sleeping next to you every night and listening to you sing too loud in the shower and hearing all of your weird little fun facts and getting the chance to try and understand that incredibly complex and impressive brain you've got. I will never again expect anything, but appreciate it," he said.

                I lifted my head up off of his shoulder and looked at him. I gave him a small, sad smile.

                "I'm really glad you learned those things, but I wish it hadn't taken me leaving like that for it to happen," I said.

                "I'm not sure I would've realized it unless you had left, baby. We both did things we regret, but I think that in the end it managed to pull us closer together," he said.

                "Jesus CHRIST, I hate you both," Reggie said, walking into the kitchen.

                "Dude! What the hell!" said Colby.

                "It's like, midnight. Why the fuck are you even here?" I asked.

                "Look, Jake got me hooked on Animal Crossing, okay? I don't have it at my house and he won't let me take it home," said Reggie.

                "And that equates to you having the right to eavesdrop?" I asked.

                "Oh, I didn't hear the conversation. Just the whole 'pull us closer together' thing. Knowing Colby, that means that entire conversation had to be gross as shit," said Reggie.

                "Go home, stinky," said Colby.

                "Yeah, yeah. I came in here for my keys, anyway," Reggie replied. He swiped them off of the counter. "Hope you guys enjoy your makeup sex."

                "REGGIE!" Colby yelled.

                "I'm going, I'm going," Reggie said, walking out of the door.

                "I really hate him sometimes," Colby sighed.

                "Eh. Dude's fun," I said. "But I'm ready for bed." I hopped off of the counter, Colby doing the same.

                "Okay. Let's go upstairs," he said.

                "Okie dokie," I replied. He grabbed my hand and we made our way up the spiral staircase, stopping at the top of the stairs where we would need to go separate ways to get to the rooms we were staying in.

                "Do... do you want to...," Colby trailed off, nodding toward the master bedroom.

                "Sleep in our bed?" I asked.

                "Yeah," he replied.

                "Yes," I said. "But we're not doing what Reggie said."

                "Not yet, anyway," Colby mumbled.

                "Oh, god. I hate you," I said.

                "No, you definitely don't," he laughed.

                "Okay, fine. I don't hate you," I said.

                "Good. I don't hate you either," he said.

                "Okay, come on. I'm tired," I giggled, pulling him toward our room.