Dane and Zion

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

~Dane~

       Sometimes when I was scribbling away in my notebook, I didn't even know what was going on around me. I just got too wrapped in with what I was writing. It could be a real problem at times, especially when I was in class or something.

       Thankfully, I never feel like I was falling behind in call or something. And teachers never called on me. They always preferred to call on someone they were certain didn't know the answer, which didn't make any sense. Why would you put someone on the spot if they didn't know the answer?

       This time while I was scribbling away in my notebook, I was at home sitting at my kitchen table. I got a sudden strike of inspiration as I was making breakfast, so I had to quickly finish my breakfast before getting my laptop and notebook so I could play around with some chords and lyrics.

       Since I was so in the zone, I didn't even notice when someone walked into the kitchen until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up, seeing my mom standing there. "Oh, sorry," I said as I took out my earphones. "I didn't see you."

       "Are you working on a song?" Mom asked.

       "Sort of," I said. "I just got a sudden idea for one, so I'm dabbling with chords and stuff. See if anything sticks."

       "So you're still writing songs?" Mom asked. "Even though you quit at Carrie's songwriter?"

       I didn't reply right away. I avoided telling my parents about that for the longest time, especially since they were the ones that gave me a little push to being Carrie's songwriter. After all, she was their best friends' daughter. They wanted her to succeed.

       Eventually, I asked, "Did she tell you?'

       "She did," Mom said. "What I don't get is why you would quit in the first place, or why you wouldn't even say anything about it."

       "Look, it... It just wasn't something I wanted to do anymore," I said. "All the songs she liked, I hated writing. And all the songs I loved, she hated. We just weren't clicking as partners anymore." Even though it truly didn't feel like a partnership, like it was intended to be. 

       "And why didn't you say anything about it?" Mom asked.

       This time, I hesitated before answering. I knew the exact reason why I didn't tell my parents, apart from them wanting to see Carrie succeed. It was still something that was fairly new to them, so it wasn't going to be the easiest thing to bring up.

       Apparently, I was taking too long to answer because Mom said, "Well? There has to be a reason you never said anything."

       "It's just..." I began, trying to figure out how I could say it. "The partnership... Me writing songs for Carrie... It was the only thing left for you and Dad to hold on to."

       Mom furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't get it. Hold on to what?"

       I hesitated, once again. This really wasn't easy at all. "Well... You and Carrie's mom always talked about how your kids are going to get married. You two were so excited when you found out you were both pregnant, and that you were having a boy and she was having a girl. But... You know... I can't marry her."

       Mom sighed as she sat down. "So you basically thought we would be disappointed?" 

       "I still feel like you are," I said honestly. "I mean, you and Carrie's mom still talk about Carrie and I getting married, even though you both know that I'm gay. It's like you haven't fully accepted me."