Stranded

13

D

"Okay, Deanna.. We're done."

I'm tired of this 'take your shirt off' routine, then, all the wires will be all over me again..

Kinuha ko na ang shirt ko at sinuot.. Nanatili akong nakaupo dito sa hospital bed.

"How did you get here, Deanna?"

"Ah... Car, ate Den?"

"Where's Bea? Di mo kasama?"

"Actually, I went here alone po, ate Den.."

"Iniinom mo ba meds mo regularly?"

"Yes po.."

"I don't understand.. You've been stable since---"

"Just tell me, ate Den.. What's the problem?"

"Your heartbeat is irregular, Deanna.."

"I had chest pain this past few days. And last night, sobrang sakit talaga.. Kaya nagpunta agad ako dito, ate Den."

"I need to be sure, let's run some tests.. Don't exhaust yourself too much. Please, don't drive alone. Magpasama ka lagi. Ayoko na mangyari yung dati."

"Okay po, ate Den.."

"Sa ngayon, okay na tayo.. I'll call you later kung kailan ka babalik, okay?"

"All right, ate..."

Bumaba na ko sa bed..

"I need to inform your sister about this and sila tita.."

"Pwede bang saka na lang, ate Den? Pag natapos na natin lahat ng test? Wag muna din natin sabihin kina ate Bea. Ayoko silang mag alala masyado. I want to at least live normal, ate.. Please?"

Tumingin sakin si ate Den.. Parang nag iisip siya kung pagbibigyan ba niya ko o ano..

And she sighed..

"Okay.. But, please mag ingat ka, Deanna.."

"Opo, ate.. Sige po, mauuna na ko. Alam kong madami ka pang patient na nag aantay."

"Sige.. Drive safe, Deanna.."

I don't know what to feel right now.. So, my heartbeat is irregular..

Does that resist me from doing things people with regular heartbeat will do?

I just wanna live life.. Live normal..

I wanna run like a jogger, go on a crazy road trip, eat those salty chips and soda..

Fuck this heart!

I'm not gonna allow this disease to restrain me from everything..

I'm driving around now.. I don't where to go..

I pulled over in a gas station... Gonna buy my favorite chips, chocolates and soda...

Binili ko talaga lahat ng chips, chocolates at soda na gusto ko sa store.. Ilang taon akong di kumain nito kasi sabi ng doctor bawal sakin to at para bumuti ang condition ko.

Tapos malalaman ko ngayon na parang wala namang pinuntahan lahat ng ginawa kong pagpipigil sa sarili ko.
I stopped doing extreme activities like skydiving, parasailing, rafting, car racing, etc.. Tapos ganito lang din pala?

Pati sa pagkain ang dami kong tinanggal sa menu ko.. Puro gulay na lang at healthy pasta, nakakadiri naman yung lasa ng mga yun..

From now on, gagawin ko lahat ng ginagawa ko dati. I wanna die doing the things I love...

Pag balik ko sa kotse, naabutan ko yung phone ko na ring ng ring..

Sino kaya toooo? Unknown number..

Binaba ko muna yung sangkatutak na binili ko bago sagutin yung tawag..

"Hello, who's this?"

"Uhm.. Hi, Deanna.. Sorry, tumawag na agad ako without texting you.. It's Jema.."

Ohhh... Sabi na eh, si Jema. Nakilala ko agad yung boses.. Kinuha niya yung number ko nung ihatid niya ko non sa condo ko. Para daw pag matapang na siya, tatawagan niya ko para samahan ko siya.

"Oh.. Hi, Jema. How are you? Napatawag ka?"

"I think, I'm a little brave now.. Are you free today?"

Well, its Saturday.. Wala naman talaga akong gagawin..

"Yeah.. Its weekend. Anong meron?"

"Tara.. Samahan mo ko. I wanna face my fears.. Now.."

"As in now, Jema?"

"Yes, Deanna.. Okay lang ba? Hmmm.. Please?"

"Of course.. Nagulat lang ako. Okay, wait.. Nasa gas station ako eh. San ka ba banda? Sunduin na lang kita. Car ko na lang gamitin natin."

"Sure ka? Sige ipagdadrive na lang kita. I'll send you my location sa messeger now. Add kita ah? Wag mo kong i-ignore sa facebook hehe.."

Nakakatawa naman to si Jema.. Haha may nalalaman pang ignore sa facebook..

"Para sayo sige, i-aaccept ko yang request mo.. Hehe.."

"Okay na na-add na kita. Nag wave ako sa messenger."

I checked my facebook and messenger.. Inaccept ko na yung friend request ni Jema..

"Accepted na po hehe.. Send me your location ah."

"Okay, Deanna.. Bye.. Ingat ka.."

"Bye.. See you, Jema.."

Nag drive na ko papunta sa location ni Jema.. Apartment ata tong hinintuan ko..

I called her and told her na nandito na ako sa tapat.

"Wow! Is this your car, Deanna? Ano meron? Daming pagkain ah.. Picnic?"

"Yes, this is my car.. And yes, may picnic haha.. Kuha ka lang kahit ano. Libre yan.."

"Ganda ng car mo. Bago to no? Amoy bago eh.."

"Bago nga to.. Dugo at pawis to hahaha.."

"Iba din pala.. Big time, Deanna ah."

"Dream car ko lang talaga to. Pinag ipunan ko talaga to."

"So, saan tayo, Deanna?"

"Ano bang gusto mong gawin?"

"Extreme activities... Gusto ko itry mag skydiving.. Lahat ng pwede.. Yung mapapasigaw at mapapaatras ako sa takot pero nandyan ka naman eh, tulak mo ko para magawa ko, I'm giving you the permission haha.."

"Sure! Sure, Jema! I know where to go na.. May dala ka bang damit o ano? Ako kasi wala hahaha.."

"Wala din. Haha. Bahala na. Tara! Madumihan kung madumihan. Mabasa kung mabasa!"

"Yeah! That's the spirit, Jema.. Malapit na talaga akong maniwala na matapang ka na. Let's go!"

This is gonna be a great weekend!

Kanina lang hindi ko alam kung saan pupunta.. But, here's Jema saving me from my dilemma.

It's time for me to go back to life!