Total Eclipse of the Hart

Shake Señora- Day 1

I realized as an author I wasn't really talking with my audience (if that makes any sense), and I decided I should definitely have that cute writer/audience connection because I love you guys (cheesy? Yup.) So, how are we? Relatives going crazy as the holidays approach us? I get to bake a ton, so I'm pretty happy because I love baking; cooking...not as much. Sweets warm the soul man, they're therapeutic. 

Personal story of the week: I shoved half of a clementine in my mouth. I didn't choke, but the juice flew everywhere. I found it hilarious, but my mom apparently doesn't appreciate my humor. Haters back off.

Advice of the week: Life is short, so have fun but don't be stupid.

Random fact: 90% of America dollar bills have cocaine on them! (Ooooh...Keeping it classy America!)

Also, since I'm using a cruise ship in the next few chapters or so, I figured you guys might want to see the ship I used as inspiration. http://www.ncl.com/cruise-ship/jewel/overview (Also, there's a 360-virtual tour to the right if you want to see the rooms and everything else I'm describing. I haven't ever been on this ship, but I thought it looked nice.)

BACK TO THE STORY! Harto's POV!

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"Hart! Let's go!" Mamrie shouts, while Julie and I are dragging our bags through the security terminal. We have a bag each, and I have no idea how I fit everything into my suitcase; Julie and I had to sit on it for me to zip it up and drag it to my apartment door. I grab my snap-back after they confirm there's nothing suspicious in it, and we haul ass to get to Mamrie and Grace, who passed through security quickly and easily, although I think Mamrie might have shown one of her boobs to get through so quickly. What can i say, the woman is a freaking genius.

After that short sprint, Grace smiles at us. "Mexico, bitches! Let's get on that ship!" We cheer loudly, and the security guards try to shush us. Mamrie winks at the guy who she flashed, and we run off, laughing like complete maniacs. 

"My...bag...is going....to snap..." Julie says, panting, as we run up the four flights of stairs to get on the ship. We all catch our breath at the top, and Mamrie and I groan simultaneously as we see the photographer that considers his picture before we board as his gift to humanity. The photos are always shitty, and we're all sweating and panting from the exertion and the eighty degree heat. We drop our bags at the counter, and inevitably get closer to the goddamn photographer. 

"Picture? Picture? Oh! Ladies! Let's have a picture, shall we?" the photographer said, smiling the fakest smile I had ever seen. 

"Oh, I think we're fine, thanks." Grace said politely, trying to scoot by. Mr. Photographer wasn't having it. He must be paid by the photo because he could not drop it. Julie finally breaks and just turns to us, grabs us by the arms, and smiles while we're all confused. CLICK, the camera flashes and we run off of the green screen background. 

"Sorry, I had to shut him up," Julie says, turning to us. Mamrie starts snorting, and replies "I need to see my face, I think I only had one eye open and my mouth was wide open." 

We're waiting in line to board the ship, and we're on the glass-windowed tube that leads to one of the decks on the ship. I poke Julie in the arm, and show her the painting on the side of the ship in the shape of gemstones. She cocks her head, admiring the art, and I show it to Grace and Mamrie. We admire the ship until we're almost to the front of the line, and we finally get to scan our key cards and walk on board. As soon as we're done, we're greeted by two crew member offering us drinks. 

"Well, don't mind if I do," Mamrie drawls, taking one plastic cup and thanking them. We walk into the lobby when she takes her first sip. 

"It's water!" Mamrie exclaims, laughing her ass off.