She's Beautiful And Mine (gxg)

Chapter Thirty Nine: Fearless.

Samantha

I couldn't stop thinking about my first time with Harley as I walked my way to Jared's house. It was just this morning. The memory left me feeling warm inside.

Despite having split up with the popular clique, Jared and I texted occasionally. He may be annoying and a bit of an asshole, but he was better than the rest of them. I told him that I'm with Harley now and he was totally fine with it, which surprised me, but was comforting, too.

It was late in the evening and he was throwing a party, as usual. His parents were never home, kind of like mine, and we would bond over the excess freedom we were given and binge on shows late into the night, on Sundays, when he came over.

I hadn't been to his place in a while, given the whole Alex situation, but he was understanding of it. He assured me that Alex wasn't gonna be there tonight, that he was staying over at a friend's place.

I stepped into the crowded hallway, through the door which was swung open, people constantly flowing in and out. Music was loud and rich in the air. I took deep breaths to calm myself down and went into the crowd, disappearing into it really, drowning in movement and pleasure.

The hours went by like seconds. I couldn't really remember much other than blinding red lights, red cups, screams, hoots, a ton of music and food, all which flashed one after the other in the back of my mind as I went upstairs to an empty room and sat on the bed. I wanted to relax for a bit and catch my breath.

Harley should've been here with me. But she wanted to prepare for finals. And I wanted to be on my own for a bit anyway.

Jared was nowhere to be seen but that was the last thing on my mind. I took in the glowing grey curtains and the clean, polished room as my heart beat slowed down.

Alex.

This was Alex's room.

How great is that.

I remembered making out with him on the bed I was currently sitting on. I remembered how uncomfortable I was and shuddered, a shiver running down my spine.

Was I that unaware about myself?

I nodded to myself.

I was, I concluded.

That's when another thing crossed my mind.

Dad.

Coming out to my dad was the most stressful thing imaginable and I couldn't bring myself to try anymore. Maybe I should just deal with it if he somehow finds out.

Someday.

It's pointless trying to convince him that the ideals he'd carried for so long and the way he'd treated his own daughters all these years were all completely wrong.

That's when the door opened. I turned around, startled.

My body froze on its own as my eyes met the boy at the door, his dark brown eyes locked with mine. I thought I would see scorn on his face. But I was met with guilt.

But why?

My mind went back to that night when I ran over to Harley's place, panicked, scared, emotional, exhausted.

No, not Alex.

"Hey," he said.

I got up and turned to face him.

"What do you want?" I asked, folding my arms defensively. I was feeling calmer than usual, only cautious.

He took a step forward. I waited. His body stiffened.