One Last Chance (B&W Book 2)

Special Chapter 4

Park Jeong Seok' POV

When eomma and appa was married,  I am the happiest kid at that moment. I am aware that they just did that for my sake but  I am already contented with that.  As long as I have my appa and eomma with me living jn one house being a family.

But as time goes by,  I can see the changes on how eomma treat appa in front of me or even behind my back. They even went for a honeymoona and became sweeter than I thought when they came back.  Maybe something good happened in Paris and it made them back together.

When we celebrated the New Year's eve,  I am so happy. I have eomma,  appa,  grandma and grandpa with me,  Junpyo and Suri,  the emperor and the empress,  with the empress dowager,  my other grandma...  It is a very amazing night for me.

I am so sleepy that night and yes I fall asleep when we head home.  I felt appa laying me down to bed and kiss my forehead and leave after a couple of seconds. But I was awaken by a unplessing sound.

It's eomma,  seems like moaning.  Is it?  So filthy! They are even having a good time in 2 am. Good thing Eun noona is on leave,  she will no longer hear those things. But I thought I will just hear it once.

I had the chance hearing those accidentally many times after that.  That us why I asked Eun noona why eomma and appa are doing that.  She said it's normal for a couple to make love especially when they are aiming to have a baby.

And so I realized that probably,  eomma and appa is trying to have another baby so I decided to ask eomma and she confirmed it.  I am not against it anyway,  I just don't want eomma to be stressed out just to provide me something that makes me and appa so happy.

And after a couple of months,  she got pregnant.  Of course we are so happy. They have been working hard for this and we are all excited to meet them after several months. I am even thinking of names to give them when they were born.

But unfortunately, eomma suffered from miscarriage. She lost the babies because of me. I was playing wster gun with Eun noona that day and it caused her to slide and fall on the floor that is why the babies died.

Though eomma is not saying that she blames me,  I can feel it and tried to consider that it is my fault. She changed after that incident. She is not lively at all just like before. She barely go out of the room and play with me.

It makes me so sad,  of course.  But I can understand eomma so much. I can't blame her too,  o just miss her so much. I miss her smile,  her laugh,  her usual self.  I miss how she kisses me when she saw me in the morning. I miss how she sings for me to fall asleep.

I felt that I also lost my mom in split second. She became cold to me and not smiling even if I go to her room and give her a comfort. It is not like before anymore. Now, it's hard to make her smile sincerely.

I feel so sad. She's been neglecting my efforts but appa said it is OK because eomma is just not in the mood.  But I know what is happening.  I know that she is so sad and I am so sad too because i can't do anything to help her recover and not to cry.

Appa said that I should understand eomma because she's been facing hard times. But how long should I wait?  How long should I let this happen?  I miss old times. I miss my mom. I want to let her know that I am stil here.  That I am alive and I need her.  That I still need a mother...