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P A T
"Ughhh! You are so stupid!!!" sigaw sa akin ni Mads.
Nandito kami ngayon sa kuwarto ko at magkakatabing nakaupo sa kama ko. Matagal na naming plano na mag-o-overnight sila ni Ganja sa bahay pagkatapos ng School Fair. My mom picked us up from school around 10 p.m. and it's now close to midnight.
"Girl, ang basic no'ng linyahan niya. Hindi mo pa na-gets?" dagdag pa ni Ganja.
I told them about Axl. Iyong naging usapan namin. Iyong paglibre niya sa akin ng burgers. Iyong pag-walkout niya. Lahat.
We won second place but I never saw him after he left me. Sina Kara at Denver lang 'yong nando'n no'ng Awarding at hindi rin nila alam kung nasaan siya. Hanggang sa dumating na si Mommy para sunduin kami ay hindi ko na siya ulit nakita.
I don't know his phone number or his Facebook account. I don't even know his full name. Kaya kahit gustuhin ko man siyang kausapin, hindi ko magawa.
"Hindi ko alam. I swear!" sagot ko kanila Mads at Ganja.
They were both shaking their heads at me.
"Friend, sa jail booth pa lang, iba na tinginan niya sa iyo, eh. Hindi mo ba napansin?" tanong ni Mads.
Aside from Justin ay wala nang ibang nagkagusto sa akin, so I really don't have much of an experience on that field. Kung totoo man ang sinasabi nila ay wala talaga akong napansin.
"Lalo na no'ng nasa stage kayo? Damn, girl. He never took his eyes off of you!" singit ni Ganja.
I knew that. Of course, I knew that. I was looking at him, too. Pero akala ko kasi ay gano'n lang talaga 'pag kumakanta sa mga banda. Nagtititigan naman talaga dapat, 'di ba?
"Kaya nga iniwan kayo no'ng iba niyong bandmates, eh. At kaya umalis din kami nito ni gaga kasi marunong kaming makiramdam," paliwanag ni Mads.
Napabuntonghininga na lang ako. No wonder I made him upset; ang manhid ko pala talaga. I guess I'll just have to talk to him on Monday and figure things out.
I went to the bathroom and took a quick bath dahil nalalagkitan ako sa katawan ko. When I got back, both my friends were already lying in bed comfortably.
My bed is so huge, it's a shame if only one person gets to sleep in it. Aub used to sleep here all the time. Minsan naman ay ako ang nakikitulog sa kanila, depende sa trip naming dalawa. That's why I'm really glad that Mads and Ganja are here now because it's been a while since I had a sleepover.
"Girl, may eye cream ka ba?" Mads asked after a while.
"Oo, diyan sa may vanity, hanapin mo na lang," antok na sagot ko.
Tumayo naman siya at naglakad papunta sa dresser ko. "Saan dito?" tanong niya.
"Check mo lang lahat ng drawers. Makikita mo rin 'yon. Hindi 'yon makakalayo ng Pilipinas," I answered drowsily, my eyes still closed. I was too sleepy to remember where I put it.
I don't know how many minutes have passed. Nakaidlip yata ako? I'm not sure. Until Mads asked a question that made me sit straight up.
"Is this Justin?"
I looked at where Mads was and saw that she was holding an old polaroid photo. Doon sa litrato ay kitang-kita na nakaakbay si Justin sa akin habang nakahalik naman ako sa pisngi niya. It was taken on our second anniversary in Tagaytay.
I admit, I still kept some photos of Justin and Aub. I can't find the strength to throw everything away. I guess a part of me really didn't want to say goodbye to them for good. Ngayon ko lang naalala na tinago ko lahat ng mga natirang pictures nila sa pinakailalim na drawer ng vanity ko. I felt my hands grow cold when Mads pulled on the drawer, revealing everything that I was trying so hard to hide.
I saw her get another photo and look at it. "Oh, my God. Bakit hindi mo sinasabi sa amin?" bulong niya.
Tumayo ako mula sa kama at saka lumapit sa kaniya upang isara 'yong drawer ko.
"Matagal nang tapos 'yan. Hindi ko pa lang natatapon 'yang mga 'yan," sagot ko.
"So, kaya ka pala niya binigyan ng yogurt? Kasi magkakakilala kayo?" she asked.
I just nodded.
"At ex mo siya? What happened?" she continued to ask.
I don't really like talking about him but I guess it's time to let them know about my past. I can't keep secrets from them forever if I want our friendship to last, which I do.
"H-He cheated," maiksing sagot ko.
I saw Madeline's expression change. "Wow naman! Ang kapal naman pala ng mukha niya? At sinundan ka pa niya sa Dawson? Hindi na lang siya nanahimik sa Patterson? Anong gusto niyang mangyari?" tuloy-tuloy na tanong niya. She looked infuriated.
This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. Ayaw kong magalit sila sa kaniya because of me.
"Mads. Tapos na 'yon. I'm over it," kalmadong sabi ko sa kaniya.
"Kaya pala bigla ka na lang nawala kanina," biglang singit naman ni Ganja, na paglingon ko ay nakatingin din sa akin mula sa higaan. Gising pa pala siya. Akala ko kanina ay malalim na ang tulog niya. "No'ng pumasok si Justin at 'yong girlfriend niya sa horror booth, nagulat na lang ako na bigla kang lumabas kahit nando'n pa sila sa loob," kuwento pa niya. "Nagpaalam ka sa akin na may dadaanan ka lang pero ang tagal mong nawala."
"Pat, why didn't you tell us?" tanong ulit ni Mads.
Nagtinginan sila ni Ganja at nakita ko sa mga mata nila ang lungkot at pagkadismaya nila sa akin.
"Ayaw ko lang na magalit kayo sa kaniya. Oo, hindi maganda 'yong nangyari sa amin. But he is a really nice guy. I don't want you to judge him for what he did to me and hate him for that one mistake," I said, trying to make them understand. I don't want them to think that I don't trust them.
"Of course, we are going to judge him. Kaibigan ka namin and that's what friends are for. We are here to hate on guys who break your heart, even long after they're gone," seryosong sabi ni Mads.
"Hayaan mo, magsisisi rin 'yong lalaking 'yon. Imagine, Porscha Antoinette Trinidad na? Pinagpalit mo pa sa isang kulugo," pabirong dagdag pa ni Ganja.
We laughed as they hugged me, and we stayed like that even when I started crying in their arms. I felt a huge relief in my chest now that my two closest friends already know the truth about me and Justin.
I told them every important detail, leaving only the ones that felt too personal to share. I just really hope that everything would be okay and that we would all be able to handle the situation maturely.
I have a strong feeling that everything wasn't just a coincidence and I'm going to see more of Justin and Aubrey in the upcoming days.
