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P A T
It's 04:23 p.m. and we just arrived here at the Medical City in Ortigas. My last class started an hour and a half ago but I wasn't able to make it.
Axl and I were in a restaurant in Antipolo when his dad called to tell him that his mom had passed away. Ihahatid niya pa dapat ako sa school bago siya pumunta rito pero pinilit ko siya na isama na rin ako. Isa lang naman ang klase ko after lunch. I'm sure I wouldn't miss much.
Kung gaano kabagal ang pagmamaneho ni Axl on the way to Antipolo, gano'n naman siya kabilis nang papunta na kami rito.
We were both quiet the entire ride. I had no idea what to say and I didn't even know if I should talk. We still haven't gotten around to talking about his family and mine, kaya wala akong alam sa sitwasyon ng mommy niya.
Was she sick?
Did she get in an accident?
I didn't know how to console Axl because I literally have no clue what happened. I don't even know his mom's name.
I kept stealing glances at him but I couldn't read his expression, so I just stayed silent and gave him space. When we arrived at the hospital, he told me that it was okay if I just want to stay in the car. And honestly, that would have been the easier choice. But he just lost his mom and I didn't want him to be alone. He needs someone to be with him at gusto kong ako 'yon.
He ran all the way to his mom's room while I followed closely behind. When I finally reached him, they were already taking his mom's body out of the room and he was begging the nurses not to take her away.
"No, no, no! No, please!" he yelled, his voice echoing across the hall. His scream sent goosebumps running all over my body. It was a scream of pure pain and agony. "Dad, please. Huwag muna. Please, Dad!" Axl kept on yelling.
His dad, a fine-looking man in his 50's, gestured for the nurses to leave. I saw Axl crouch down and embrace his mom's lifeless body, tears finally falling down his eyes.
Iyong mga luhang kanina niya pa pinipigilan noong magkasama kami, eto at bumagsak na.
He was shaking from the grief, while his dad—whose eyes were already red and puffy—also started crying and shouting his wife's name.
My heart breaks for them.
Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong manood sa kanila.
Axl and I are . . . I don't know.
Friends?
MU?
Schoolmates?
I shouldn't even be here.
I knew I had to give them space, so I just messaged Axl on Instagram and decided to stay downstairs. Habang pababa ako ay hindi ko na napigilan ang umiyak. Ever since I was a child, mababaw na kasi talaga ang luha ko. I never knew his mom, but I know that she was a good wife and a good parent.
Nilabas ko ang cellphone ko at mabilis na t-in-ext ang mommy ko para sabihin na mahal ko siya. Gano'n din ang ginawa ko sa kuya ko at kay Daddy. We'll never know when our time ends, and before it's too late, I want my family to know how much I love and appreciate them.
I was on the ground floor, looking for an empty bench seat when I passed by a familiar face. "Pat?" he called out to me. It was Marco from the restaurant.
Lumapit ako sa kanila at nakitang may kasama siyang dalawang babae. One was probably his mom, while the other one was his sister. Both of them had sunglasses on but it was obvious that they were also crying.
"Do you know nasaan na sila Axl? Hindi kasi siya sumasagot sa tawag ko," Marco asked nicely.
I told him where Axl's mom's room was, and he thanked me before heading off. Sumunod din naman agad sa kaniya 'yong dalawang babae.
I was able to find an empty chair near the exit. I decided to stay there in case Axl comes looking for me. It was a few hours later when I finally felt him sit beside me. Gabi na no'n at nakaidlip na rin ako sa kahihintay.
I closed the distance between us and hugged him as tight as I could while he put his face on my neck and cried.
We just stayed like that for God knows how long.
Who would have thought that this guy in my arms is the same guy I bumped into all those weeks ago? The guy who was cold and rude is now fragile and vulnerable.
When I felt his breathing finally return to normal, I took a hanky from my pocket and handed it to him. It's the same hanky he gave me back when I was the one crying my heart out.
Bigla na lang ay napagtanto ko kung gaano pala kababaw 'yong sakit na naramdaman ko noon. I was crying because of Justin and Aubrey. I was crying because I was heartbroken.
But Axl is crying because he literally lost a loved one. This is the real heartbreak. He is probably hurting so much more, and I can't begin to imagine the pain he's going through.
He took the hanky from me and seemed to recognize it. "May sipon mo na 'to, ipapagamit mo pa sa akin." He was still able to smile and crack a joke despite how miserable he was, and I admired him even more for that.
"Ayaw pa? Oh sige, kamayin mo 'yang sipon mo, ah," biro ko sa kaniya.
He laughed as he wiped his face clean. "Sorry, you skipped a class because of me," he whispered after a while. "And sorry about our failed lunch," he added.
I felt my heart ache for him. Siya na nga 'tong matindi ang pinagdaraanan, siya pa 'yong humihingi ng tawad sa akin.
"No, you don't have to say sorry. Wala kang kasalanan, okay?" I said, urging him to look at me.
He just nodded his head and forced a pathetic smile.
To be honest, he looked like a mess. His hair was disheveled, his lips were pale, and his eyes were dark, sleepy, and red from all the crying.
I felt so bad for him and I wanted to make him feel a little better. I took his hand and intertwined our fingers as he put his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes.
"Pat," he said after a moment, his voice soft and quiet.
"Hmm?" I asked.
He didn't answer for a while and I thought he had already fallen asleep. But then he whispered something I really wasn't expecting. Something that caused my heart to speed up and my cheeks to heat up.
