Dancing For Love

22. Letting it all out

Mew went straight to the counter and ordered a beer when he entered the bar. He took heavy steps and sat on a chair at a very corner of the bar, everything felt numb, everything except his heart. His heart ached and he couldn't stop thinking about Gulf. He couldn't stop picturing him kissing his ex. uuurrgggggghhhh fvck fvck fvck!!!! why does this always happen to me? Am I so unworthy of love? His heart felt heavy. He put his head on the counter. He drank his beer when the bartender gave it. He started drinking it fast. Why does it hurt so much? wasn't it what we agreed on? that we will continue this till he finds someone, so why, why does it hurt like hell? why am I so scared of losing him... when he wasn't even mine?  

He wanted to be drunk by the time he reached home. Did I lose my chance? why didn't I tell him how I felt about him before? Gulfff... I wish I could explain how wonderful you are, how I could look into your eyes and never get tired of your beauty, how seeing you enter a room makes me smile, how important you are to me. But now, even if I could find the words to somehow explain, I can't, I lost you. I lost something so beautiful. All because I was scared. He started drinking his sorrows away. 

As he was drinking, a random guy came and sat next to him and placed his hand on his shoulder. 

Mew got angry "Not interested! get out!!" he snapped at him but the guy didn't move. He drank another bottle of beer but the guy was still there. 

"Heyy.. looks like you're in pain, maybe you need someone to help relax you. I can help" the random guy said seductively. 

Mew just ignored him maybe I should.. it's not like Gulf would care.. he already has someone now.. urghhh no no!  what are you thinking Mew? you're not this type of guy. "I said get out!!" he hissed at the guy.

The guy put his hands on Mew's leg slowly moving it up. Mew had enough so he got up but the guy pushed him and pinned him to the wall and leaned in. Mew got angry and was about to scream at him but the guy kissed him. Mew frowned and tried to push him away but stopped, the image of Gulf being held up by his ex, his face so close to him, he almost saw them kissing, the words of Feng on how he was devastated of the break up. Maybe that guy makes him happy.. maybe I shoul-  He held the guy's shoulder, he didn't kiss him back but he also felt nothing. He realized only Gulf made his heart race like crazy just by a kiss. Tears started flowing down his face as the random guy was kissing him but Mew couldn't move his lips. All he could think about was Gulf and it hurt him.  

Before his brain could understand what was happening, the guy was pulled back and thrown on the ground. He looked up with his teary blurry vision to see who did that, it was Gulf. He was crying. why is he crying? shouldn't he be happy that he finally found someone. why is he sad? 

Gulf yanked that person by his neck and pushed him down. He was angry and sad at the same time. He was ready to beat the shit of out the guy. But when he looked at Mew he was confused. Mew had tears falling down his face, his cheeks were red, he looked weak. why is he crying? he rarely drinks so why is he drinking? He then looked at the guy on the ground. 

"If you want to walk back home with two functioning legs I suggest you leave right now!!!" Gulf roared at him and then looked back at Mew. Mew's eyes were sad, hurt even but Gulf couldn't understand, more so why did he kiss another man. He went closer to him.  

"why did you kiss another man?? you promised till you're with me you wouldn't be with anyone else!! you promised!! why did you break your pr-promise?" Gulf asked angrily at first but by the last sentence he was stuttering. 

Mew scoffed "I didn't break my promise!" You did. 

"Don't lie! I saw you kissing!!" 

Mew didn't answer. He felt guilty even though he didn't understand why because Gulf broke it first. He sat back down avoiding looking at Gulf. Gulf didn't understand what was happening. what did I do? why is he behaving so cold towards me? Gulf was hurting and couldn't stop his tears. Mew looked at him and his heart ached even more, all he wanted to do was hug him and wipe his tears away but he didn't move. He was hurting even more seeing Gulf crying.