ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴏɴꜱᴛᴇʀ//ꜱᴇʙᴀꜱᴛɪᴀɴ ᴍɪᴄʜᴇᴀʟɪꜱ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

dark part

no one wants to die but we want to kill something inside them

y/n sat at the corner of her bed, layers of blankets wrapped around her.she felt safe wrapped in blankets with the only light coming from the candle on her bedside table, only her head peeked out-

CRUNCH

y/n broke the silence with the loud crunch of ice broken between her teeth. the room was as silent as her mind. it's been hours since she heard the voice in her head. there was a little thought in the back of head that possibly the voice in her head is...the version of herself...in her head? a strange thought indeed, but what other possibilities could there be?

she gulped down the icy pieces before sliding another cube in her mouth as she silently thought of her most recent nightmare. all that blood, she still remember the tight grip around her neck and the sharp pain on her spine. "alright is that enough?!we did what we did to survive-now fix this-"

she thought about the last words she heard before she was awoken. parents...she thought, i killed them? that statement seemed unbelievable alone, why would she?and how could she do it?another thing that bothered her was that blue thing that came out of her back. it shined so bright and looked sharp at the touch.she noted that she would go to the library at noon tomorrow.

CRUNCH

there was a soft creak from down the hall, light. y/n silenced hearing the sounds growing closer to her door. the sounds stopped at the door, y/n caught whiff before calming down. she sunk deeper in the blankets, only leaving her nose and eyes on top. she watched the door knob twist then the door slowly swinging open bringing another light into the room.

he slowly peeked from the side of the door. his black messy locks at tussled, his big blue eyes roaming around to find y/n still awake."you aren't sleeping?" he says slowly walking inside the door with the door closing behind him.

"no" she softly spoke, sitting up.the blanket fell from my shoulders that followed with a shiver charging my spine."why aren't you sleeping?" she asked

"nightmares...can i sleep here?" he asked after yawning

y/n nodded her head "yeah, com here" she whispered, creating space for him. she watched him slowly crawl on to the bed. he lay on his side as y/n dropped the blankets over him. there was silence for a moment, she noticed how he kept picking at the pillow under his head"you sleep a lot, don't you?" she joked, giggling at her own joke.

"i'm sorry" he finally said.

she hummed, turning her head to face him. "about sleeping a lot?i was joking" she was uncertain what he said, motioning for a repeat.

"not about that" y/n blinked before gulping quite loudly then expected. she thought how weird it was that she suddenly became nervous. how dry her throat was and how loud that swallow seemed in the silent house.she took a deep inhale, not realizing the lack of air inside."i didn't mean to lie to you." he finishes.

"Lie?" y/n whispered with raised brows."i don't understand..." y/n turned her body to face him, she watched him sit up. he straighten his back before relaxing with his knees to his chest.

"i lied about my name. i said my name was Luke" he started, y/n's mouth formed a 'o' in realization."i didn't mean harm...i just wanted to forget and believe my parents loved me...and Luke was a cool name" he dropped his head on his knees, swaying around.

"it's okay, graham. i understand your actions in your...situation" y/n smiled, reaching out for him. her vision became cloudy as her hand got closer to him. her ears had a sort of ringing sound as pressure grew against her head.when finally her hand made contact with his hair, her vision went black with white outlines.

she watched graham sat there frozen "you're really forgiving, i apologize if i seem rude. you just were never the...forgiving type" y/n lifted her head to the figure behind graham. the figure sat against the door, it again didn't have any significant features. it just had a human form with some sort of hair outline?"surprised that you would come here s abruptly unlike last time"

"to be honest i don't know how to do...this or how i did it" y/n spoke, lifting her away from the frozen child." how am i doing this"

"it similar to how you would imagine a setting in front. it's just this is the dark part of that gift you have"

"why is it dark if i can see you?" she asked, slowly pushing herself off the bed. it almost seemed like real life just in black and white. the touch and smell, on point.

"because i'm one of the people who helped your development" y/n watched the figure stand up, slowly walking towards y/n. the figure towered over y/n "people you hate exist in this place"i'm one of the people who pushed you to this dark path, a monster"

y/n felt small against this person, another big gulp that sounded really loud in her hears."then...who are you?" she has the sudden courage but it quickly started dissolving.

"anyone you want me to be" the voice changed, becoming deeper and silk. the figure grew slightly taller with a leaner body, hair growing longer. facial features appeared, y/n backed away unexpected with the answer. how did he affect her life?

"Sebastian?" she spoke in confusion. he shook his head

"were you not listening?" his deep voice changed to a feminine voice. his lean and tall figure changed to a short and curvy figure. his hair grew longer and facial features changed. the women smiled. y/n stood in front of her mother. she knew there was come conflict between her and her mother. but still wondered what exactly."i'm anyone because i have no form."

"i see" y/n slowly walked forward. her mother smiled, "but who are you really?"

y/n's mom's figure slowly changed back to the black figure with nothing." in time you will-"

-

"i...really admire your mind and your character really." graham jolted up with a gentle smile that pushed to his eyes. y/n sat there letting everything soak in. looking at her, you would think she saw a ghost for her pale skin and confused/scared expression" i wonder what you think of when you space out or what you can imagine just by closing your eyes. i envy how you are born different unlike others. you've been given power to defend yourself." his smile fell as he let out another yawn with water swelling in his eyes.

y/n watched graham rub his tired eyes, she wondered what did he mean.still y/n was dazed with the jumble of questions from the figure and gram.different?power?monster?path?all she knew for certain was that more confusion rose as time passed.she laughed to her dismay"i can assure you that having a mind like me isn't the best thing" she responded.

graham giggled quietly "i bet it's still beautiful...no matter what" graham slowly laid back down, he pulled the blanket over him quickly becoming cozy."y/n, you are not what they say you are. you are so much more" he smiled as he closed his eyes with a quiet sigh ."you'll never be a monster to me"

but sometimes that part we want to kill makes a large portion of who we are.