Love (Kim Namjoon x reader)

Chapter 9

The night dragged on. Black sky and silver clouds were glued into place, nothing was moving, not even time. In an hour, it would be your birthday and when the sun began to rise over the city skyline, the envelope will appear somewhere in this house. When you close your eyes, you couldn't picture anything about the next day, or year, or the future in general. Even at dinner, you were quiet while your parents were reminiscing about their early days into dating. While you smiled that their loving eyes for each other, you couldn't focus. As you toss and turn on the bed, causing the sheets to wrinkle and the bedframe to squeak, your mind would only let you see one person.

It was silly of you to hang up on him like that when he did nothing wrong, he was simply expressing his feelings about another person to you. He had every right to do that and you shut him out. You still don't know what it was that you felt, sadness, or jealousy, but either way, you didn't get to feel those things because Kim Namjoon doesn't belong to you, or anyone else except the person he chooses. And it was selfish for you to have those thoughts in the first place when there's someone else that's meant for you. You wonder if you could put aside your feelings for Namjoon to focus on whoever your match is. You will have to, in order to be fair to that person.

Petty, that's what you are. Turns out, you were exactly like every other girl in the world, and he must have realized that. In the morning, you would call him and apologize. If he picks up, of course.

You can always count for the sun to rise, and when it did, your eyes were already opened. In fact, they hadn't closed all night. Looking around your room, it seemed that the red envelope had appeared somewhere else in the room. You were glad, you needed to breathe for a little before facing that. Just then your mother burst through your door, waving something red around.

"It's here!" she exclaimed. She was already dressed for work. She quickly handed it to you. "Open it. I couldn't sleep all night because of the excitement."

Same, you thought, but it was not excitement you were feeling. You took the polished envelope and held it between your fingers. The golden seal of doves shimmered under the sunlight.

"What's wrong?" your mother asked when she found you staring.

"I'm scared," you whispered.

"Sweetie," she exhaled, pulling you in for a hug. "Whoever it is will absolutely adore you. You will be an amazing partner."

"And what if I can't feel that way for them?" Because I have someone else in my heart.

She bit her lips and squeeze your hand, "Then we'll figure it out together."

There was no time to stall. You broke the seal with shaking hands, then pulled out the content. The name was inscribed in black ink. It was crystal clear. You read the strokes over and over again, unable to make sense of anything. Your mother tried to peer at the paper, seeing that her daughter was clearly shaken up. "Who is it?" she asked.

You said nothing, because if you had answered, it would make everything real and you were afraid of the consequences.

***

"Yah, why is there an eggshell in the batter?"

"Don't put too much salt in this."

"You need to bake it more or else the inside will be all gooey."

"Hyung, please don't burn our dorm down."

Namjoon was completely in disarray. He thought dancing would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do. But that was before he embarked on this journey to bake a cake. He had gotten up at the crack of dawn and started gathering the ingredients. He was a little disappointed to not have found a red envelope by his bedside. While he tried to keep it a secret, the ruckus in the kitchen soon woke the rest of the boys up. Yoongi was determined to yell at his leader for interrupting his cuddle time with Taehyung, but as Yoongi realized a long time ago, he could literally bever be mad at any of them.

The boys found him covered in frosting and decided it would be best if they stepped in. But Namjoon was insistent that he needed to do this himself. "Hyung, maybe you should buy a cake." Jimin suggested. "We know a bakery that will do a good job."

"I have no doubt that they will do a good job," Namjoon agreed, "But I want to make her something myself." He didn't need to say who "her" was. They all knew, and they understood his sentiment. But they also wanted him to be realistic.

"Joon," Seokjin began.
"I know," Namjoon nodded. "I know this is wrong. But please, just let me do it." His plan was to call you and tell you his feelings for you. And if you agree to see him one last time, he would surprise you with this cake. "All of my life, I have followed the rules and structures of society, from school to making music about certain things. Disobeying my parents to pursue music was my first chance of life, and now I think this is the second. I don't want to regret it."

"We don't want you to have regrets either hyung," Jungkook added, feeling beyond proud of his role model. With that, the six of them watched him struggle. Jungkook noticed something manifesting on the coffee table in the living room. "Hyungs," the maknae called out and everyone followed his gaze. Namjoon froze, dropping his whisk.

"Oh my god," Hoseok breathed out. Jungkook rushed over to pick up the envelope.

"Who is it for?" Taehyung asked.

"Kim Namjoon." Namjoon furiously washed his hands before grabbing it from Jungkook to make sure this was real. It was indeed addressed to him. The golden doves shimmering.

"How can this be?" he mumbled.

"The world is mysterious," Yoongi hummed. "Open it."

"I-I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm scared," he answered honestly. His heart was pounding, he was terribly confused and terrified. He wasn't expecting his future to move so quickly towards him. "I don't think I can feel that way for whoever it is."

"Just open it," Seokjin urged. And when Namjoon pulled the paper out and Seokjin read the name, he couldn't hold in his laugh, "Do you still think you can't feel that way for her?"

Happy was an understatement, but Namjoon couldn't think of a better word to describe this moment. Happiness filled his body as he read your name over and over again. He wasn't a believer of God or any higher beings, but he wanted to scream, to thank them with all of his heart. He wasn't fond of the idea before, but if it's you, he'll gladly be bind.

"Don't just stand there," Hoseok nagged. "Go call her."

"R-right," Namjoon answered then rushed to his phone. He tapped his foot impatiently while the phone rang. When you didn't pick up the first time, he thought nothing of it. Then the second, fourth, seventh, nothing. And nothing for the rest of the day. His birthday message to you was left on read.